Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Anti-social



I'm back to this blog, partially because I am making a conscious effort to change the way I consume and participate in social media, specifically Facebook and Twitter. The problem, especially on FB, is that more often than not, the content annoys me, bums me out, or in some way makes me less happy than before I read it, and that certainly isn't the point. I have several issues with it, ranging from minor annoyances to major things that bother me, and many of them are things that I have done myself. But the biggest problem is that, all too often, social media serves simply as a platform for someone to cyber-scream "THIS IS WHAT I THINK OR AGREE WITH AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT."

 That pisses me off.

I fully realized this during two recent "events" (I use that term loosely) that were beaten to death over social media: the Duck Dynasty guy situation, and the knee-jerk reactions to Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman and his vitriolic post game "interview" with Erin Andrews after the NFC Championship game. What struck me as interesting in both cases, and ultimately problematic, is that there is no right or wrong view of either side of either issue, and yet everyone who strongly voiced an opinion ended up sounding like an ass. Let's cover the Duck Dynasty guy first. Were his comments ignorant, hateful, and stupid? Yup. Is he allowed to make those kind of comments? Of course he is. His supporters immediately and incorrectly invoked The First Amendment, which has absolutely nothing to do with his situation, since the government was not involved to any degree. Did the network have the right to suspend him? Of course they did. He made them look bad, and made them associated with a hateful bigot. Now, what can be debated is whether the brief sanctions were given only to generate publicity in hopes of juicing the ratings when he ultimately and inevitably returned to the airwaves, although thankfully that didn't happen.

My issue is that there was no wiggle room in anyone's stance. Everyone yelling and screaming on both sides felt they were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT and that there was no gray area, no possible other position. And there's tons of that kind of thing on Facebook and Twitter now. Much of it is entirely pointless. Nobody is going to change their religious, political, or sports team affiliations based on somebody else's posts. After the 2012 election I pledged to myself to just not post anything political anymore, because it is pointless. Most social media political posts are the internet equivalent of waving something around and shouting about it because you agree with it. Which doesn't do any good for anybody, other than generating completely hollow social media "likes" or "favorites." 

Richard Sherman's behavior was the most recent example of this kind of thing. Personally, I thought he was practically foaming at the mouth and came off like a dangerous person. I was legitimately fearful for Erin Andrews' safety as she tried to talk to him. His defenders immediately and vociferously jumped to his side, discussing how he was "in the heat of the moment" and how he must be smarter than most people because he was a communications major at Stanford. But doesn't this mean that he should have been smart enough to realize exactly how poorly he would be viewed by millions of people? Predictably, people far on the other side immediately resorted to racially-charged name calling and insults. I didn't like his act. I thought he came off like a pompous jerk. I'm also fairly certain that that was absolutely his intention. He is a pompous jerk, and he is building that brand for himself. His team is heading to the Super Bowl, and literally the only player on his squad that anyone seems to be talking about now is him. And that is exactly what he wanted. But nobody is discussing that, they are just fighting over whether what he did was acceptable or not.

So that's where I stand. I'm not talking or posting about politics or religion, and I'm even going to cut back on posting about sports, because all I'm doing is flag-waving for my teams. Sometimes I won't be able to help it, or I just won't care (WORLD CHAMPIONS!). But I'm going to try to get back to using social media for what it does best: sharing pictures and updates about people's kids, funny photos and videos of animals, and pretty Instagram shots of food.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Crazy airplane lady

I haven't blogged in ages, because I just haven't felt like it. Well, it is time to get back on the horse, and what better way than with a brief recollection about my recent airline experience with an actual crazy person?

The scene: a Sunday afternoon Southwest flight from Phoenix to Little Rock, with a brief stop in Houston. The culprit: a crazy, curly-haired woman around 60 years old. She wore a full length, matronly dress with a floor-length winter coat and a scarf on over that. All this on a warm, gorgeous day, mind you. I first noticed her on my way to the bathroom, when I saw her in a seat in the back row, breathing through her scarf, holding it over her mouth like some kind of mask. Umm...odd. Shortly after that, she started to wander. She meandered around the aisle with no apparent reason or purpose. At one point she made a pit stop in the row in front of me, grabbing the vacant aisle seat of a young lady that was in the bathroom, leaving her boyfriend in the adjacent seat to glance at her with a look that obviously said, Umm, crazy lady, why the fuck are you sitting in my girlfriend's seat?

The weird behavior reached its zenith on our descent into Houston. Crazy Lady kept trying to walk around during the landing. "I don't have to listen to you," was her response to more than one flight attendant. Actually, you do. So we hit the runway. We don't have a gate, and anyone who has ever flown knows that you stay in your seat until you hear the magic "ding" indicating that the jetway is good to go. Not crazy lady. More wandering the aisle. And I'll be honest, at this point I am literally planning what I am going to do if she pulls out a weapon or an explosive. Because really, that is the world we live in now. I'm looking for like-minded, vigilant individuals in other rows, silently making eye contact with guys clearly doing exactly what I' m doing. Crazy Lady is finally informed that if she doesn't stay put, the police will get involved. This got her to plop down until shortly before we got to the gate. But then she got up and made her way through the plane, mildly shoving people and telling them that she didn't have to listen to them. And then she got off the plane.

Odd. Very, very odd.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Last Comic Standing - August 9 recap

NBC’s pleasantly funny return of Last Comic Standing wrapped up with a two-hour extravaganza promising guest stars, surprises, the judges performing, and the crowning of a new champion. So grab a beverage and a snack, settle in, and let’s get to it with a running diary of the season finale:

0:00: I notice that the little picture on my guide listing is of former host Bill Bellamy. I’m not sure if this is the fault of NBC or DirecTV, but it’s really lame either way.

0:01: The obligatory, “This season on Last Comic Standing” montage begins. I guess I get the point of these, but when they happen during shows that I have watched faithfully, they always bore me. This is no exception, but at least it was a very brief one.

0:01: Kathy Griffin is the first person announced as one of the guests in this “star-studded” affair. Ugh. Meanwhile, all the finalists are on stage in matching black suits and ties. It looks like a really weird Reservoir Dogs spoof.

0:03: Craig Robinson admits that many of the guest stars are there to drag things out as long as possible. I liked him in this role all year. He’s a likeable guy doing a pretty thankless job and he keeps things moving. He’s also rocking a tux tonight. Solid.

0:04: First cut already! Cue the ominous thunder sound effect…and then Craig Seacrests us and holds off on making the call until after the first commercial break. Dammit. He totally got me.

0:08: And fifth place goes to…Myq Kaplan. Wow. He was one of my top two. If I filled out a pool or made a wager I’d be ripping it up right now.

0:09: NBC pops up their first annoying promo graphic for another show that takes up nearly half the screen. No, that’s not distracting at all. This segues into a performance by a prior winner that I’ve never seen because she took the crown after the show had gotten so bad that I couldn’t put myself through watching it anymore. She reaffirms my happiness with this decision quickly. Meanwhile, my wife is laughing at her while trying not to. Comedy: totally subjective. Except for people getting hit in the crotch, which is universally always funny.

0:14: That was a long five minutes.

0:18: The judges take to the stage, which is a nice time to remember how much they brought to the show this season. They may have been a little hesitant to get harsh at times, but unlike many judges on many other shows like this one, we know that they know what they are talking about, and they often proved it with specific and helpful comments.

0:19: A Craig Robinson hosting recap montage. Yeah…this show definitely did not need to be two hours long.

0:20: Perhaps I spoke too soon, as the intro leads us into a performance by Craig Robinson and his band, one with one of the best names in the history of music: The Nasty Delicious.

0:21: Gloria Gaynor arrives to sing “I Will Survive” with Craig and his band. I don’t think this is supposed to be funny, but it’s hard to tell.

0:23: Wow, they’re just going to play the whole song. Alrighty…

0:24: Craig gets up from the keyboard and joins Gloria to, well, “sing” is a little strong. But this was part of their big finish, apparently. Why? No idea. None of this makes sense to me right now.

0:29: Andy Kindler rocks the mic, letting us know that he will judge himself internally while he performs. He actually seems a little nervous at first, but he’s pretty good.

0:33: It took him a little bit to get going but he was really funny by the end of his brief set.

0:34: A brief history of Last Comic Standing, done in mock History Channel documentary style. Not awful as needless filler goes, but like pretty much everything so far, it was just kind of short and completely unnecessary. An actual look back at past seasons and comedians could have been interesting.

0:39: It’s time to “bid adieu” to another comic. Who knew Craig spoke French? It goes nicely with his tux. Anyway, your fourth place comic is Mike DeStefano, which feels about right. That’s a very respectable showing for him.

0:41: Cross promotion alert: Tom Papa, the host of NBC’s show The Marriage Ref, comes out for a set. My wife is laughing a little too much at some of the jokes about how married couples communicate.

0:43: Now we’re both chuckling at a bit about how Tom fought with his wife about the proper way to load a dishwasher. Lots of hilarious and relatable stuff in his set.

0:46: He’s genuinely killing right now.

0:47: The documentary look back was apparently just one of a series. Bringing it back a second time is not making it funnier.

0:53: “I love her. I love her…well,” says Craig in the way of an introduction for judge Natasha Legerro. She’s kind of doing some weird character that I don’t really get, although I like the shiny gold gloves that go up to her elbows.

0:56: Natasha says that she enjoys being a judge but she has no idea what is actually going on because the rules are confusing. So she is like Paula Abdul after all.

0:57: Literally as I was typing that, she went into a Paula Abdul joke. Apparently everyone saw that coming a mile away. My apologies.

1:00: There was just an ad for sea bass and shrimp appetizers for cats. I really wish this was the start of an SNL fake commercial. It is not.

1:01: Another documentary look back focuses on the hosts. I’m not going to try explaining how security camera footage of Craig saving the executive producer from a bear attack factored in. But it did.

1:04: I thought Craig and Gloria Gaynor performing together would be the only painful musical performance. I was wrong. Craig is now rapping in old man makeup and wardrobe.

1:07: We get a brief collection of the best non-finalist jokes. There were some solid ones in there, reminding me what a deep group we had this season.

1:09: Kurt Metzger gets the #1 spot in this brief countdown. I caught him in a “blink and you’ll miss it” cameo on Louis CK’s new show which, by the way, you should absolutely be watching if you like stand up comedy. It is phenomenal.

1:10: I try to hide under the couch cushions as a commercial for “Eat, Pray, Love” comes on because I don’t want my wife getting any ideas. I’ll go see that right after she watches “The Expendables” with me, which will be the day after never.

1:14: Greg Giraldo gets some stage time. It feels like he’s making up his set as he goes along. He’s much better on the Comedy Central roasts, which is probably like getting lay ups and dunks in an All-Star game due to the surrounding talent.

1:21: Third place time, and Roy Wood Jr. gets the bronze. “I just lost $400,” says Craig. Roy gives a shout-out to the hard-working road comics out there. Nice touch.

1:26: Kathy Griffin gets a big video piece before she comes on. To me, she is a perfect storm of freakish plastic surgery, grating personality, and mind-blowingly unfunny comedy. I just cannot stand her.

1:29: I’m trying to ignore the actual set by focusing on the really odd vein-wrinkle-seams at the corners of her eyes.

1:31: “He’s scary,” she says of Mel Gibson. “So are you,” screams every mirror in America.

1:35: She’s still talking. She also mentions how the cast of The Real Housewives of DC might not be the smartest people “in the state.” Note to Kathy Griffin: Washington, DC is not a state. Nice going.

1:39: Final Two time begins with a Felipe Esparza recap, followed by a mediocre performance. He has had his moments, but he certainly shouldn’t win the title.

1:44: “My judging now doesn’t mean anything,” says Andy accurately. So why are they doing it? Who knows.

1:46: Tommy Johnagin gets the recap treatment as well. I was really impressed with him the entire season. It’s amazing how much better he is than when he tried out a few seasons ago, and he would (should?) be a deserving winner.

1:50: The lady with the shiny formal gloves busts on Tommy for the purple shirt he wore earlier in the season. More relevantly, Greg commends him on his joke writing, which has been stellar all season. “Unlike my act, you got stronger,” adds Andy.

1:55: “The truth is finally revealed about how the votes are tabulated,” says Craig gravely. Cut to: Doug Benson and Fred Willard with abacuses and a pile of crumpled scraps of paper.

1:57: “Without further stalling or milking, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” says Craig, before adding a little more stalling and milking by requesting the dramatic lights one last time. He then gives the reveal a nice, funny preamble, making it as humorously dramatic as possible

1:58: And the Last Comic Standing is…Felipe Esparza. Sigh. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, and as a comic type he fits right in with past winners of this show. And ultimately, I guess that’s the problem for me. Oh well. Good for him. Meanwhile, this is clearly not the last we’ve heard from Tommy Johnagin, or several other talented comics featured on this enjoyable season. The overall talent level renewed my faith in the show, which is something I thought I’d never say again. See you next year everyone.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Last Comic Standing - August 2 recap

Due to my travel schedule, I missed recapping last week’s episode of Last Comic Standing on NBC, but it feels like I’ve been gone a lot longer than that. While the audition rounds were surprisingly funny, by the end it felt like they had gone on for months. Now, suddenly, we’re down to the last performance show before the finale? I’m not sure about this scheduling choice. But that’s what we’ve got, so let’s get to it.

The show took an unorthodox approach, doing something I wish happened more frequently on competition shows: they made the one and only cut at the top of the hour. Jonathan Thymius got the axe, and I have to say I’m relieved that he did. At first I found him really unique and funny, with his quirky stage tics and mannerisms. But after powering through last week’s episode on my DVR and witnessing another lackluster set by him, I had had enough. He had a couple of pseudo-jokes that seemed to be missing punch lines entirely and just sat there being weird. I’ll take him in small doses, but he was absolutely the right guy to get sent packing this week.

If you’re reading this, I’ll assume you’ve watched a good portion of the season to this point. So instead of just another middle school level book report recap, I’ll rank the remaining comics the way I see them heading into the finale, including how they fared this week. But it certainly warrants mentioning that this group of five left is really solid. There isn’t one person I hate, which has almost never been the case in seasons past. And I’m sure if I caught any of the remaining comics live at a comedy club, I’d have a great time.

#5. Felipe Esparza. He probably has the weakest material of anyone left, but he is a funny guy. Part of it is the look—the long hair, the scraggly beard, and the suit and tie that make him look like a teenager going to court. But his jokes are genuine, and he gets real laughs. This week he had some very funny bits about his better-looking brother, who happens to be gay. Felipe compared that to someone having super powers but not using them to rescue anyone. The whole set was one of his better ones of the season.

#4. Mike DeStefano. The judges, especially Greg Giraldo, wisely observed what is one of Mike’s biggest strengths on stage: that it is difficult to be so mean and tough and still come off as likeable. That is clearly his comedic angle, and he hits it every week. The finale was one of his strongest showings of the season, with fresh takes on the same types of jokes he has done to get him here.

#3. Roy Wood Jr. With just five comics remaining, the performers were given a little bit more stage time this week, and that certainly helped Roy. He is a very enjoyable guy who is always easy to watch, but with an extended performance he was able to go for multiple set ups and callbacks within his set that were really funny. He had a stellar bit on racism, and how it can be tough to determine who is and who is not racist down south. “I think anybody who likes black people should get a wristband or a hand stamp,” he said. Once again, the judges unanimously loved him, with Greg calling it a “smashing” set.

#2. Myq Kaplan. The only possible knock on Myq could be that his material is relatively highbrow compared to his fellow finalists, and thus his appeal may be narrower. But I don’t buy it. He has been laugh-out-loud funny every week, and he was once again. He also continued doing something that he has done nearly every show: weaving in an off-the-cuff joke or callback to an earlier comic’s bit or phrase from the same night. It’s just a little thing, but it’s very clever and always funny. The judges caught it, too, complimenting him on his spontaneity. Myq hasn’t had a bad set yet, and he has a very real shot to win this competition. At the very worst, he should have a guest spot written for him on The Big Bang Theory. I know it’s on a competing network but he would fit right in there.

#1. Tommy Johnagin. It’s simple: Tommy has made me laugh out loud every week. This is tougher than it sounds, because more often than not, even though this is a comedy contest, it’s tough to get real, actual laughter. There are many times when I like the way a joke is written, or I find myself thinking, “That was funny.” But when Tommy’s on stage, I laugh. This week he veered away from his bread and butter relationship material and killed on a spectrum of topics so varied that it ran from port-a-potty theft to a hilarious mistaken trip to an OB-GYN. The judges loved him too, noting that his set ups are funny by themselves. They also felt that the longer set let him work at a more comfortable pace, and it was evident. I would love to see him perform a full headlining show, and that’s definitely where his career is headed.

Next week looks like a big, bloated, two-hour season finale to wrap things up. Any comic left could win this year’s title and it wouldn’t be shocking, and it’s great knowing that a deserving and talented comedian is going to take home the prize this time. I don’t love the American Idol treatment the producers insisted on inflicting on the competition, but with the season drawing to a close, I’m surprised and pleased at how funny it has been this year. Well done, Last Comic Standing. I didn’t know if you still had it in you.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Last Comic Standing - July 12 recap


Through its lengthy auditions and semi finals rounds, the current season of NBC’s Last Comic Standing has given us some hilarious highs, a few painful lows, and a monkey running a lighting board for no apparent reason.  They’ve also given us ten solid, unique stand up comedians that have advanced to the finals to compete for the title, a quarter million bucks, and spot on a Last Comic Standing national tour.  Now, I’m guessing more than just the winner will be appearing on that bill, but the more prizes they can list, the better, right?  Let’s get to it.

Craig Robinson didn’t need to do much to fire up the audibly enthusiastic crowd in the theater, but he did anyway.  The ten finalists were each introduced, and we got right into the show.  I quickly saw that the sage trio of judges was notably absent.  This worried me for a moment, but Natasha Leggero stated on Twitter that it was just a one-week break and they will all be back next week.  I have enjoyed their presence and feedback throughout, and I eagerly look forward to seeing them get a little more critical as the competition moves on.

Laurie Kilmartin led off the night, sticking to the kind of material that got her here: jokes about relationships and her young son.  She discussed how her recent breakup didn’t hurt her as much as learning that her ex cheated on her with someone that couldn’t spell.  “How can you sleep with someone who thinks there’s an A in ‘tomorrow?’” she asked.  She went on with some funny bits about her boy, and the uncomfortable situations that can arise with him.  “They say prison robs you of your dignity,” she stated.  “So does having a three-year-old watch you on the toilet.”  Overall, I thought Laurie was funny, but not the best that she has been.  The audience was really into it, so much that it seemed like their responses occasionally threw off the timing of some of Laurie’s jokes.  However, she was very comfortable and it was a solid set.

Our votes count this week, and our humble host took a moment to remind us.  “It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor or have the IQ of a dead squirrel,” he said.  Okay then!  Felipe Esparza was next with a lackluster set.  He began jumping from one downer of a topic to another: laying in bed feeling like a loser, getting arrested, and the lack of celebration that comes with receiving a GED.  Any of these topics could have been funny, but they didn’t work for me tonight.  His best line of the evening came in a reference to America’s neighbors to the south, and how they could aid in the Iraq war:  “Mexico wants to help but they need a ride over there.”  Felipe has definitely been better before, and not to sound like one of the judges during a rare negative critique, but he just didn’t connect with me tonight.

Roy Wood Jr. followed, explaining how he has failed on this show twice before.  Looking to avoid the hat trick, he began with a bit about his experiences at a sports bar.  This could have worked, aside from an odd anti-swimming tangent.  “You want to make swimming fun to watch, put a gator in the pool,” he implored.  And while I like that idea, I think the shelf life on “swimming as TV viewing” jokes expired about five minutes after Michael Phelps’ last race in the Olympics two years ago.  However, Roy redeemed himself with a funny story about getting ejected from a career day for telling the truth: that we cannot have everyone succeed.  “We need failures in America,” he explained.  “They provide chicken nuggets and lap dances.  I like both of them, those are important services.”  Roy was the third straight comic who wasn’t hilarious, but wasn’t awful, either.  Maybe everyone is going to fall somewhere in the middle this week.

Maronzio Vance made it four for four to this point.  I like him.  He’s very easy going and just fun to listen to, and while a lot of his bits are not classic set-up/punch line, it works for him. He opened with a joke about always wanting to be a super hero, but not being able to afford it.  And the man raised a valid point—Batman did shell out some serious bucks for everything he had working for him.  But he was a billionaire.  Maronzio was not, so he decided that his heroic alter ego would be Pay Attention Man—a character that shows up in situations like when the person in front of you has not noticed that the light has turned green.  The set wasn’t a riot, but it worked.

Rachel Feinstein likes talking about her family, and she excels at using voices.  This much we know.  Tonight, she did both again for her entire set.  She started off discussing her mother, whom she feels wants to be “ethnic” despite being “aggressively white.”  She portrayed her mother attending rap battles, watching the performances and judging them.  Then she talked about her grandmother watching rap videos at home, and getting into it.  This let Rachel use another voice, but all of it felt too similar to the jokes she had already done up to that point tonight.  We’re halfway home tonight and nobody has really impressed.

Finally, we’ve got a leader in the clubhouse, and it’s Tommy Johnagin.  He was the second straight comic to tell jokes about his grandparents, and it worked for him.  He discussed how his mother implored him to visit his grandmother because she doesn’t have much time left.  “Does grandma know that’s how you drum up visitors?” he asked.  He then discussed his grandfather’s recent auto accident: “He hit a beauty salon, which is a building that my grandma was in.”  From here he somehow smoothly transitioned to a bit about an incredibly ugly stripper, one so heinous that he wanted her to take off his glasses instead of her clothes.  Tommy’s delivery was great, and lots of the laughs came from the precise manner in which he nails his punch lines.  He was the best of the night so far.

Jonathan Thymius is an odd dude.  So far that’s been working for me, and he’s been laugh-out-loud funny more that once, but tonight he was just weird.  His best joke was simply the way he wandered onto the stage looking completely bewildered.  Maybe he actually was, because his collection of strange tangents didn’t work for me tonight.  His best joke was probably about the recent diet he’s been on for two months.  “So far, I’ve lost exactly…what…two months,” he said.  He’s better than he was tonight.

This show needed a little shot of energy.  Enter James Adomian.  He started off voicing his opinion on Aesop, feeling that the author of fables was a “judgmental icehole.”  Then followed a long-winded bit about the lesson learned from the tale of the tortoise and the hare, and how Aesop should have been impressed that two animals even put such a race together in the first place.  Hmm.  James then went for the big finish with an impression, a spot-on mimicry of actor Paul Giamatti.  The angle was that even when playing a character like former president John Adams, Giamatti cannot help but let his schlubby persona seep through.  The voice worked, but the impersonation went on a little too long and got almost manic at the end.  Still, this was one of the better showings of the night.

One comic that will clearly never lack confidence, on stage or off, is Mike DeStefano.  He set the tone for his set from his opening line, asking the crowd, “Have you ever noticed that the wrong people have self-esteem?”  His jokes followed in that vein, and the crowd seemed to enjoy it.  I didn’t love the set, and he really lost momentum with his closing bit about advice he gave as a drug counselor.  But people like Mike, and I don’t think he’s going anywhere this week.

This was an up-and-down night, but Myq Kaplan brought it to a humorous close.  Personality-wise, you couldn’t ask for anyone more different to follow Mike DeStefano, and Myq wisely commented on it.  “Like the last performer,” he said, “I, too, am a tough guy.”  If you’ve seen Myq, with his slight build, glasses, and striped, zip-up sweater, you can imagine that joke working.  This led him right into a run on being vegan; something he explained is “like a vegetarian but slightly more annoying.”  One of the benefits of the lifestyle is living a longer life, “Probably because we’re not invited to do anything fun or dangerous.”  Myq’s been funny every time, and this was no exception.

Craig brought all the comics back on and revealed the big news: we knew that our votes determined who would survive.  But next week we lose not one, not two, but three of tonight’s performers.  And after tonight’s show, at least half of the field should be nervous.  I’m sure we’ll get some American Idol style dramatic lighting and musical cues for the eliminations next week, but I do miss the Scooby-Doo mansion.  I miss the outright heads-up challenges.  I even miss Rich Vos ironing his pants.  But this is our show now, so call in your votes so things can get funnier next week.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Last Comic Standing - July 5 recap


Last week, NBC’s Last Comic Standing filled the first five spots for the finals round of this very promising and rejuvenated season.  This week, we saw another beefy two-hour episode filled with talented comedians vying for the five remaining spots, as well as some of the worst performances we’ve seen to date.  Would the producers fill those vacancies with the funniest performers, or specific personality types?  Only time would tell.

“Welcome to Last Comic Standing,” said host Craig Robinson, greeting the crowd.  “The best stand up comedy contest on NBC.”  Craig also was involved in a bit in which his spotlight kept moving on him, due to, wait for it…a monkey running the board.  Literally.  An actual monkey.  In a Hawaiian shirt, with a cigar.  Okay then.  The introduction of the judges was thankfully simian-free, and we got right into a lengthy night of semi final performances.

Batting lead off was Roy Wood, Jr., who had a complete grasp of the importance of the night.  “Everything that I’ve ever done as a comic comes down to this moment,” he said.  He started with a bang, getting laughs from his very first line about a bad date, and quickly moving on to his friends getting married and their overly lengthy wedding invitations.  “Look, is there going to be free liquor or not?” he asked.  From there he moved on to observe that in his current, single state he has no need for a will.  “All I have is a George Foreman grill and a Shrek 2 DVD.”  His material covered topics that many comics mine, but his take was fresh and funny.  Judge Natasha Legerro thought he was very original, and Greg Giraldo loved his style and point of view.

Next up was Fortune Feimster, who once again makes me feel the need to declare that comedy is highly subjective, because I just can’t stand her.  I didn’t like her before, and she didn’t do anything to change my mind tonight.  The bulk of her set focused on the unlikely event of her getting hit on by a guy.  “Which hasn’t happened since, well, never,” she noted.  Her humor just doesn’t do it for me, but the judges all loved her.  Andy Kindler thought she was fantastic, Natasha noted that she both says funny things and delivers them humorously, and Greg enthused that she is a genuinely funny person.  I don’t see it, but right now I’m afraid that she will make the finals, because the producers seemingly put quirky, distinctive personalities above almost everything else.  But I hope we’re past that this season.

Jerry Rocha continued the trend of heaping pre-set pressure on himself.  “This is easily the biggest night of my career,” he stated.  He began by taking a shot at himself and his fellow passengers on a recent flight; one which he observed was completely full of ugly people, a clear indicator that they were doomed.  “This is God cleaning up mistakes,” he said.  From there he went to a bit about calling his credit card company to check his statement, only to learn he was in such bad shape that the customer service rep had to call her co-workers over to look at the balance.  The lengthy joke focused mainly on the voice he performed, which Natasha found “very crowd pleasing,” while she also thought it was a little easy.  The other judges didn’t rave, either.

Guy Torry was the first comic that didn’t make reference to how important the evening was, but maybe he should have.  Instead he talked about how viewers probably know him not from his stand up, but his movie and TV appearances, which may be true, but is also pretty arrogant considering his resume is littered with D-list roles.  Then he proceeded to absolutely bomb.  His set was mostly political, talking about things that happened during the presidential campaign about two years ago.  This was met with repeated stone-faced shots of the judges and audience members.  Then Guy went for the big finish with a bit about attending a KKK rally.  It was the comedy equivalent of watching someone drown.  “Not all of the material was my style,” observed Andy diplomatically.  Natasha wisely noted that Guy simply repeated things loudly in place of punch lines, while Greg took the high road in saying that he knew Guy was capable of a better set.  I’m sure that’s true, because this one was dreadful.  Torry’s confrontational manner when listening to the panel’s critique didn’t help him come off any better.

The uncomfortable prior performance was still lingering in the Alex Theater when Jacob Sirof came on for a very funny set.  He discussed how many of his friends are getting motorcycles, something he is reluctant to do partially because of the less-than-hetero looking attire required.  He transitioned into a funny bit clarifying that he is not homophobic, and that in fact he enjoys hugging his male friends.  While they are sleeping.  And he is naked.  You had to watch it, but it was solid.  Natasha gave him kudos for performing admirably in the aftermath of the awkward moment courtesy of Torry.

Nikki Glaser didn’t fixate on the moment, but she did say that no matter what happens she is liable to cry either way.  She began by talking about breaking up with her boyfriend over Skype, and then followed that up with some edgy pregnancy jokes that were a little too much for some members of the crowd.  “I am pro life,” she noted after a stinging abortion-related quip.  “I’m just pro my life and a baby would really ruin that for me right now.”  The judges didn’t gush, but they enjoyed the set.

A lot of comics have simple, set up-punch line jokes that I can easily quote here and you get the point.  Taylor Williamson is not one of them.  He got laughs just walking on stage because he looks, dresses, and kind of sounds like he’s about 12 years old.  He had funny jokes about the breeding of labradoodles and an incident while driving, but it was all made better by his persona and delivery.  “You have a very strange mind,” said Andy, clearly meaning it as a compliment.  Natasha raved about his getting laughs before even telling a joke, and Greg respected and admired his unique stage presence.  The crowd loved him.

From this point on, let’s just assume that every comic talks about the stakes and the importance of the night unless I say otherwise.  Nick Cobb did, but he made specific reference to the big pile of cash that comes with winning, too.  However, it doesn’t look like he’ll be vying for it after delivering a set that underwhelmed the judges.  All his jokes were about his recent breakup, and while he wasn’t bad, he didn’t deliver as well as he could have.  “I don’t want to say it was a weird set,” said Andy.  “It was up and down a little bit.”  Natasha agreed, adding that she “wasn’t really responding” to the material, which Nick admitted was mostly new stuff.  Greg also said that his expectations were a little higher than what he saw.

Mike Vecchione relished the show for its good competitive fire, which is nice, since we know he is fighting to join a group that already has one tough Italian in its midst.  He started somewhat quietly with some Catholicism humor, but his set slowly picked up speed.  He joked about his father teaching him to box.  Or so he thought.  “He wasn’t teaching me to box,” said Mike.  “He just used to hit me.”  Natasha found him to be more clever than his looks would indicate, a subject that Greg touched on as well, noting that Mike succeeded in spite of this.  It was a solid showing.

I feel like I’m piling on, but we’re about halfway in and last week’s semis are killing what we’ve seen so far tonight.  Cristela Alonzo delivered another fair-to-middling set that gave the judges plenty of opportunities to deliver constructive criticism.  “I’m originally from the Mexican part of Texas,” she noted.  “Called Texas.”  From that point on, her jokes took a while to set up.  “I think you’re funnier than your material right now,” said Andy.  Natasha noted the long waits between payoffs, as did Greg.  “You’re using a lot of words to get to the big punch line at the end,” he said.

Kurt Metzger explained that he was a little nervous, but that he probably shouldn’t be because he’s pretty awesome at stand up comedy.  And maybe he is, but his routine entirely about Tiger Woods wasn’t knee-slapping material.  It was all fine, but the problem is that I feel like I heard enough Tiger Woods jokes in the days and weeks immediately following the whole scenario, and Metzger’s take wasn’t fresh or unique enough to get me laughing.  Andy agreed somewhat, noting that it is tough to do Tiger Woods jokes at this point without sounding pedestrian.  He still liked it, however, as did Greg, calling Kurt a “funny, funny dude.”

Laurie Kilmartin discussed how it can be tough admitting that she really wants to be liked, but after her set tonight, I think she will be.  She enlightened us on her recent unintended pregnancy at the age of 41, and how when asked what she was using for birth control, she answered, “My age…When does this party end down here?”  She also took shots at the ridiculous people who said she would be prepared for motherhood because she had a dog, stating she wished it would be that easy so she could go to Vegas for the weekend.  “Could you stop by the house on Sunday and check up on the baby?  He’s going to be in the back yard.”  The judges all liked her, and deservingly so, with Greg specifically noting that she is a great joke writer.

Tommy Johnagin was a semi-finalist in 2007 and feared becoming a two-time loser, but based on his set he had nothing to worry about.  He was funny and polished from start to finish, including great bits about his sister’s ten and a half pound baby that looks like John Goodman, but from far away.  From here he analyzed how easy it is to conceive a child as opposed to something more mundane, like building a shed.  He wrapped up with great stuff about being single and some of the bad first kisses he has encountered, including one that led him to tell a girl, “Get your face away from my face…this is less of a kiss and more of how I eat a sandwich.”  The judges adored him.  Natasha thought she picked up on the fact that he might be a competitive person.  “Yeah, I’m in a contest,” he deadpanned immediately.  Greg complimented him on his ability to do so many things well, including painting vivid pictures with his jokes.  It was a really strong performance.

Claudia Cogan’s entire time was devoted to jokes about her day job, which is unfortunate, since it appears she’ll be keeping it for a while.  “I work or maybe that’s too strong a word as a temp,” she explained.  “My motto is, same crap, different desk.”  Similar jokes followed, and none of them excited the panel.  “It didn’t kill me tonight,” said Andy bluntly.  Natasha concurred, feeling that she needed to be won over, and wasn’t.  “That set didn’t really jump off the stage,” added Greg.

Maronzio Vance opened with a very smart bit about the problems one faces when applying for a job when the employer can check the applicant’s credit history.  “I thought that was the whole purpose of getting a job…so you can fix your credit,” he said.  “So that means I have to go work at Wal-Mart and save up to go across the street just to work at Target.”  He had more employment-themed humor, and everything was very funny.  Andy thought he was “really fantastic,” while Greg added that Maronzio was a great storyteller.  The whole set was distinctive and enjoyable.

In the previous round, Jason Nash made me laugh harder than anyone with his hilarious set about his three year old son.  He was great again here, with more comic gold about his wife and children.  He perfectly detailed the specific agony of sleeping with a baby monitor next to his head, while also nailing the moments that come with having a toddler, like hearing the boy say “F--- it,” and then having to explain to him that he was using that phrase incorrectly.  Andy loved the material, saying that Nash talking about his family was exactly what he needs to be doing.  Greg also loved his unique energy on stage.  “You’re like silly-happy,” he observed, “But creepy-sad at the same time.”

James Adomian brought some great enthusiasm to the show, discussing how certain people won’t even talk to him unless he has watched the entire run of a TV show, and how unreasonable that is, comparing it to having to read every issue of Time magazine.  But he really scored with a spot-on Gary Busey impersonation.  We haven’t seen many impressions in this competition, but this was so good that he had people calling out for more, indulging Craig’s request for Jesse “The Body” Ventura, as well as George W. Bush.  Natasha noted that it wasn’t just the accurate and funny voice imitations, but the strong point of view that made these work.

Carmen Lynch was another comic with a very distinctive voice, both literally and figuratively.  She talked about her sister’s new baby, and her thoughts on the little one crying.  “What are you crying about anyway?” she asked.  “You just got here, you’re two hours old.”  Andy enjoyed the unique perspective but felt that a lot of the material was just almost there, but not quite, a sentiment I agreed with.  Greg wisely observed that Carmen’s original manner allows her to be likeable and mean at the same time.

Brian McKim is very smooth and fun to listen to, so it was nice to watch him wrap up the night’s performances.  His easygoing persona works with bits like his description of a recent trip he took.  “I got off the plane recently in Phoenix, Arizona.  It was 114 degrees,” he said.  “I decided to cool off in the hotel pool.  It was 113 degrees.  I was swimming near the five year olds because when they peed it was cooler.”  Andy aptly described the set as “smooth sailing,” and both Natasha and Greg liked the delivery style and stage manner.  And once again, we have to give credit to the fantastic panel of judges for the job they have done throughout the season.  They are all funny, they know what they’re talking about, and they can actually give worthwhile feedback to the contestants and entertain us at home at the same time.

Decision time.  Anxious waiting in the green room, contestants divided into groups to linger much longer than necessary on stage to find out who moves on…you know the drill by now.  Unlike NBC, I can skip the theatrics and cut to the chase.  Your last five finalists are: James, Roy, Laurie, Tommy, and Maronzio.  I’m crushed that Jason got cut, because he has made me laugh out loud every time he’s gone up.  But we’re back to the subjective comedy angle again, because his material about his wife and kids hits me right where my life is right now.  I can’t complain too much, because the five comics that did advance are all deserving, funny performers that made it on the merit of their performances.  We didn’t get anyone terrible railroaded through as has happened so many times before on this show.  So here we are.  We’ve got our final ten comics, and next week, the show truly begins and your votes start counting.  Let the funny business continue.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The List - #101 completed

101. Organize all the books in the library.

On the surface, this seemed like a pretty easy one. But like most items on The List, it was tougher than it appeared. There were a couple of factors that contributed to this: that we had book in several locations, and that Beth and I are both particular (and stubborn) about even little things, like where to put our books.

I started the job and the master plan was to have fiction on one side, non fiction on the other, and a big row of cookbooks in the middle. That is basically what we went with, aside from a small section of Southern Writing, both fiction and non fiction, together. I started strong but ran out of steam and patience partway through the job. Beth picked up the slack from there, doing a lot of the hard core sorting midway through. Then I came on strong at the end to finish up. We're happy with how it looks. So, that's about 2% of our house that is now neat and organized. 98% to go!