Crazy airplane lady

I haven't blogged in ages, because I just haven't felt like it. Well, it is time to get back on the horse, and what better way than with a brief recollection about my recent airline experience with an actual crazy person?

The scene: a Sunday afternoon Southwest flight from Phoenix to Little Rock, with a brief stop in Houston. The culprit: a crazy, curly-haired woman around 60 years old. She wore a full length, matronly dress with a floor-length winter coat and a scarf on over that. All this on a warm, gorgeous day, mind you. I first noticed her on my way to the bathroom, when I saw her in a seat in the back row, breathing through her scarf, holding it over her mouth like some kind of mask. Umm...odd. Shortly after that, she started to wander. She meandered around the aisle with no apparent reason or purpose. At one point she made a pit stop in the row in front of me, grabbing the vacant aisle seat of a young lady that was in the bathroom, leaving her boyfriend in the adjacent seat to glance at her with a look that obviously said, Umm, crazy lady, why the fuck are you sitting in my girlfriend's seat?

The weird behavior reached its zenith on our descent into Houston. Crazy Lady kept trying to walk around during the landing. "I don't have to listen to you," was her response to more than one flight attendant. Actually, you do. So we hit the runway. We don't have a gate, and anyone who has ever flown knows that you stay in your seat until you hear the magic "ding" indicating that the jetway is good to go. Not crazy lady. More wandering the aisle. And I'll be honest, at this point I am literally planning what I am going to do if she pulls out a weapon or an explosive. Because really, that is the world we live in now. I'm looking for like-minded, vigilant individuals in other rows, silently making eye contact with guys clearly doing exactly what I' m doing. Crazy Lady is finally informed that if she doesn't stay put, the police will get involved. This got her to plop down until shortly before we got to the gate. But then she got up and made her way through the plane, mildly shoving people and telling them that she didn't have to listen to them. And then she got off the plane.

Odd. Very, very odd.

Summer of '10 - stuff I'm looking forward to

There's lots of great stuff on the way this summer. Here are a few things I'm psyched about.

May 7 - Iron Man 2. Okay, so May 7 isn't even really summer yet, but the release of this sequel is definitely the start of summer movie season and I'm beyond excited about this one. I loved Iron Man, and everything great about the first one looks like it has been ramped up for the sequel. I couldn't be more in. I plan on catching it in IMAX.

May 18 - Red Dead Redemption for PlayStation3. An open world, first person game set in the dying days of the Old West from the makers of Grand Theft Auto. I've checked out some videos of the game play and this one looks absolutely amazing. I don't have time to play video games as much as I used to--sad and shocking, I know--but I will find some time to give this one a good run. My hopes are high.

May 23 - The Lost finale. I have no idea how it is going to end, aside from knowing that they have to bridge the island and flash-sideways worlds together somehow. I do know that there is no way they can answer every last lingering question or tie up all the loose ends. It's impossible. But it will be really entertaining to see exactly what they do and how they do it.

June 18 - Toy Story 3. First theatrical movie experience for AJ? Could be. I think he might still be a little young, so I may hold off until '11 for Kung Fu Panda 2 or Cars 2. But this might work.

June 27 - Entourage season premiere on HBO. Last season was pretty sub par and it could be the beginning of the end, but I don't care. I'll watch this every week until it's done. If that makes me a little douchey by default, so be it.

Mid-July - Family trip to Cape Cod. This is definitely a highlight of the year. Last year we drove, and the trip up was surprisingly painless. The boy was phenomenal in the car, and also did well staying in hotels for the first time. But this time, just like with anything else we try to do now, the degree of difficulty will increase exponentially with two kids instead of one. Courtney is adorable, but she can also turn into a little demon at the drop of a hat. However, at the time we leave she'll be almost eight months old instead of the five-ish she is now, and those few months could make a huge difference. Or maybe I'm just deluding myself, and it will be two days of sheer hell. But I really hate air travel at this point, and anything else seems like a better option.

August - The Red Sox move into first place in the AL East. This one looks wildly optimistic right now, so what better time to make a bold prediction?

The List - #145 completed

145. Sing in public.

This was one from the Esquire list, and honestly, one I never really gave a thought to, for reasons that are pretty simple: I don't sing. But a perfect storm of circumstances took place on October 3, at The Foundry, in Boulder, Colorado. The ingredients were, in no particular order: about six hours of drinking at an open bar, the natural mood enhancement that comes from a dear friend's wedding, an accommodating, super-cool cover band backing me, and perhaps the one and only chance to release my inner James Hetfield in front of a friendly crowd.

So yes. At the end of the night, at the culmination of a wedding reception that was a party at a bar, I took the mic and rocked "Enter Sandman." And I loved every minute of it. And apparently, I didn't even suck. Now, there's no telling if my friends would actually tell me if I did. But I think I really pulled it off.

That was amazingly fun.

The List - #111 completed

111. Watch a Red Sox game from the Green Monster seats at Fenway Park.

Okay, this one was kind of a fish-in-a-barrel choice for the list because I already had the tickets in hand. But still. First off, I had never been up there. These tickets are ridiculously tough to get a hold of and the Red Sox hold an annual lottery simply for the right to purchase them. I got lucky in the drawing a couple of years ago but we weren't around at the time, so those standing room tickets went to my brother instead. He had a blast and it sounded like I would too, so I continued to take yearly shots at the drawing.

This year I lucked out yet again. Even better, I was able to get second row seats for a game during a time frame in which I knew we would be back in Massachusetts. The seats completely lived up to my lofty expectations. The view is unique, of course, and fantastic. But I was also pleasantly surprised at the relative comfort. As anyone who has been to Fenway knows, these seats were not designed with the proportions of a 21st century human being in mind. And since I fall, umm...well to the far end of that spectrum, suffice it to say that I have a rough time sitting in just about any seat in the house. But the Monster seats are stools, with enough room that I was not banging my knees on anything. There is also a little shelf-like table perfect for holding food, drinks, cameras, and the like. There are a pair of little concession stands up there solely for the Monster seats, and a nearby bathroom tucked away behind a corner as well. All things considered, these are probably my favorite Fenway seats I've ever had.

The List - #133 completed

133. Build a sandcastle with A.J.

Long time, no blog. We had a great family vacation to the Cape and we've just been getting situated since we got back last weekend. I thought that A.J. would have fun building sandcastles on the beach, and he definitely did. It was even his idea, one he picked up from an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when they do just that on the moon. He already knew which tools were required, and he began listing these off for me before we even left on the trip. "I need a bucket," he told me. "And a shovel." No problem.

Since this was his first time, we went with the basic castle architecture--four corner turrets each the size of the bucket on hand. This worked very well the first time, and it would have as well on sand castle day number two unless Little Miss Helpful came along to give us a hand. You know the type--somebody else's random kid that just shows up and starts playing. It was fine, although I always find this a little bit odd considering I have literally know idea who this girl was or where her parents might have been. But she did bring a bigger bucket, which helped.

The List - #13 completed

#13 (from Esquire). Get a deep tissue massage.

Before this year I had never gotten a massage. My wife loves them, and we went to Las Vegas in January and she thought it would be a great idea to get a couples massage. I wasn't at all opposed to the idea, just generally I can find something else I would rather do with my time and/or my money, especially in Vegas. But we got one and it was great. My back has been bothering me off and on a lot lately, and I've noticed that when I get a massage, it actually makes it a little worse at first, and then it feels great a day or two later. I have no idea if this is standard for everyone.

I was back in Vegas in April and since I arrived before the other guys coming in, I got another one. Another winner. But I had never had a deep tissue massage until a couple of weeks ago, at the Bliss spa at the W Hotel in Scottsdale. My masseuse recommended it and said it would be great for the back issues. I ended up with a big sore spot the next morning, but shortly after that it felt really great and loose. I even sprung for the ridiculously overpriced minty exfoliating stuff she suggested--bag pictured in photo. I tried that at home and it was very tingly, invigorating, and refreshing.

That last sentence is probably the gayest thing I have ever written in this blog.

Headed to AZ

I'm off to Scottsdale in a few hours for a good friend's bachelor party weekend. The timing couldn't be better after having seen The Hangover, which is absolutely hilarious. I don't think we'll be slipping any roofies into our Jagermeister, though. I'll Tweet and try to send some pics of the debauchery as it happens on my Twitter page, so if you're one of my good friends who is missing this weekend...well, shame on you, but at least you can track our action a little.

http://twitter.com/ccmccandless

Have a great weekend, everyone. I know I will!

Random List of Fives

Five One Word Named Bands That I Like More Than I Used To

1. Boston
2. Journey
3. Heart
4. Kansas
5. Asia

Thanks to Rock Band, mostly.


Five Places I Have Never Been To But Would Love To Visit

1. Australia
2. Hawaii
3. Central and Northern Europe
4. Japan
5. Cabo

My All-NBA Starting Five From My Era As A Fan

1. Magic Johnson, point guard
2. Michael Jordan, shooting guard
3. Larry Bird, small forward
4. Kevin McHale, power forward*
5. Hakeem Olajuwon, center

* I'm pretty sure Kevin McHale is the most underrated player in the history of the NBA. He is certainly the most underrated key member of a team that won three championships. Unfortunately for him, at least regarding how well known and celebrated he is, he happened to play alongside The Greatest Forward That Ever Lived. But people just forget how great McHale was before he got banged up. He had the best assortment of low post moves I've ever seen. He was basically unguardable on the low block. He was a defensive force (All-Defensive first or second team six times). He routinely shot .600 from the floor and .800 from the stripe, grabbed nine or ten boards a game, and blocked a couple of shots. In 1987, just as an example of his awesomeness, he averaged 26 and 10, shot .604 (led league) and .836, and added 2.6 assists and 2.2 blocks per game for good measure. He averaged those 26.1 points while Larry Joe Bird was lighting up the scoreboard with 28.1 a night, and taking far more shots. In fact, McHale finished sixth in the league in points per game that year, but did not even rank in the top 20 in shots taken. That is efficient and it is deadly, and that is what Kevin McHale was. Imagine how much he would have scored on just about any other team. Jordan averaged just over 37 a night that year for a medicore Bulls team, but he also chucked it up about 50% more often than McHale did. What if they just switched teams? MJ tallied 5.2 boards and 4.6 assists per in '87, and those probably would have inched close to Oscar Robertson numbers on the stacked '87 Celts. Meanwhile, McHale might have scored 40 a night if he was the focal point of the Bulls offense. Or any offense, really. He was probably that good.


The Five Websites I Visit Most Often

1. GMail
2. Facebook
3. ESPN
4. Boston Globe sports
5. The Yahoo (or other) stat site for whichever fantasy sports season I happen to be in.