NBC’s Last Comic Standing tempted us with surprisingly palatable audition rounds, building expectations for this show higher than they have been in years. But as we have seen here too often before, many comics can be funny once for a couple of minutes before growing tiresome and letting us down. In fact, that very pattern hasn’t been enough to prevent someone from winning this competition. Say, in the first season, for example. The semi finals have arrived, where we get more of everything: new material, longer sets, and a better chance to judge how funny the contestants really are.
Host Craig Robinson kicked things off at the historic Alex Theater in Hollywood, seated in a plush leather chair on stage, bathed in ominous light. He looked and sounded like a vintage Bond villain as he asked, “Who will survive? Who has what it takes to make it? Why am I holding this cat?” He informed us that the top 20 audition performers had advanced to this point, and that “only the funniest” will move on from here. He didn’t quote an exact number, but something around 10 is a safe bet.
First up was Myq Kaplan, he of the interesting name spelling and highbrow material. He explained that his audition last season did not go well, leaving him as “one of the first comics not standing.” Things should be different for him this time. He kept his stuff smart, beginning with a great run on books and how authors fool people that don’t read by re-releasing their work with a different cover when it is made into a movie. He also joked about religious fiction, “Like The DaVinci Code, or The Bible…sure, The DaVinci Code might be real.” From here he smoothly transitioned into funny bits about people that believe Satan exists, but that he isn’t gay. “He’s horny and flaming, close enough,” said Myq. This year the three judges critique each comic after their set, exactly like on American Idol, except without any incoherent ramblings or anyone getting told they were “a little pitchy.” The panel loved Myq’s set, with Natasha noting that his “subdued, kind of intellectual” presence was not hampered at all by the bigger auditorium. He did very well.
Next was Jamie Lee, both excited and nervous. “I am quite terrified to know that millions of people are watching,” she stated. But she showed no problem with nerves on stage, delivering a solid set that began with good stuff about her rocky relationship history. “I used to date a comedian,” she explained. “And I guess I knew the relationship was falling apart when even our inside jokes were bombing.” Andy Kindler summed things up perfectly, saying, “I love your style and…not all of it hit with me, but when it hit it was really, really great.” Natasha Leggero was also positive without gushing. “I think you have huge potential,” she said.
Mike DeStefano made quite an impression during the audition round with his Bronx bravado, so it was no surprise that the attitude carried over here. In fact, he ramped up the intensity even further. “I’m not interested in making friends with anybody. I’m here to win and be a better comic than all of them.” I love the confidence, and yet I’m shocked that he, of all people, was the first one to spout off a classic reality show cliché. But unlike most idiots that have uttered something like that before, coming from him it just sounded genuine. That’s really who he is. Give us more, Mike. “I want to make it so that I’m so good that if I don’t win that the audience will just light the theater on fire.” That’s what I’m talking about! He brought the same feel to the stage, talking about his upbringing, when everyone acted Italian, including a Chinese friend named Carmine. He talked a lot about his family. “My father was a gambler,” he said. “We were rich seven times.” The crowd and the panel really enjoyed it. “Great material, great point of view,” said Greg Giraldo succinctly.
Kyle Grooms is one of the more seasoned performers in the field, yet he admitted that tonight’s show would have his biggest audience ever. He was very comfortable on stage, with jokes about how derisive people are about his home state of New Jersey, claiming that it is “up there with Iraq.” However, apparently the situation is even worse elsewhere. “Detroit’s doing so bad that Haiti’s throwing them a benefit concert.” He didn’t hit anything out of the park, but was very solid. “Do people really hate Jersey that much,” asked Natasha, “Or is it just Snooki?” Greg continued piling onto the Garden state. “I think Jersey sucks too, I agree with you 100%,” he joked.
Shane Mauss was the night’s first polarizing performer. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at in my life,” he said of stand up comedy. “I have to make this work.” Well, kudos to him, then, for not compromising at all, jumping right into a very dark run about waiting a long time in line for an amusement park ride and then hearing that later a woman on the same ride lost both her legs on it in an accident. The audience seemed like they weren’t with him at the start, but he won them over by the end of his set, including a great closing line about the woman in question and how she will no longer ride roller coasters…because she doesn’t meet the height requirement. “The crowd obviously loves dismemberment humor,” noted Andy mockingly. “As we all do.” Natasha clearly understood where Shane was coming from as well, stating “I like someone who’s comfortable with a good groaning audience.”
Adrienne Iapalucci was thrilled that advancing this far meant she might have a shot at ditching her day job for good. “Sorry to the guys in the office,” she explained. “I love you, but not enough to hang out with you 40 hours a week.” Judging from her set, she doesn’t spend much time hanging out with her mother, either, despite living in her basement. She transitioned from that confrontational relationship to her trying job as a nanny. She stated that the kids she watched were so awful that, while she would never hit them herself, she “could kind of…coerce one into hitting the other.” Her mostly deadpan delivery was well received by the panel. She was unique and enjoyable.
Next was the imposing presence of Felipe Esparza, with his shaggy hair, scruffy beard, and nouveau-homeless chic stage apparel. The crowd loved him immediately, before he even finished his bit about the unsavory characters present on mass transit. “The back of the bus looks like the bar in Star Wars,” he noted. “I think there is a variance in the material,” observed Andy, before saying that overall he thought it was funny. “You’re one of these guys that’s able to talk about your real life,” said Greg. “And make it very funny.” This was a wise observation, because that certainly seemed to be the basis for all of Felipe’s material thus far.
Jonathan Thymius made no apologies for his motivation to this point. “Making it to the semi finals is huge for me because I want to be famous.” If he continues doing it like he did this week, he’s got a very good shot at it. He had one of the night’s best jokes: “So my wife called me a scatterbrain…I said, listen, whatever your name is, I want to find the car as bad as you do.” Quoting it here just doesn’t do it justice, because so much of the humor comes from his unique presence and brilliant delivery. He was so good that the crowd was already laughing during the set ups of his jokes. He ended by jokingly asking the crowd if they wanted to see a ventriloquist act. When they responded enthusiastically, he slowly removed one shoe and put his own sock on his hand…before holding the microphone up to his bare foot. Again, explaining this joke just makes it sound weird. It killed. “I love your delivery,” gushed Andy. “I don’t care if you’re insane.” Greg agreed. “You’re an absolute original,” he said.
“I really want to bring everybody into my comedic world,” proclaimed Lil’ Rel. I think he did that, but the problem was that it was just loud, long, and not funny. He performed one single, extended bit about a man’s desire to read his mother’s obituary aloud at her funeral. This isn’t exactly a comic goldmine of a topic to begin with, but Lil’ Rel’s decision to have the character he played repeat himself over and over made things even worse. The judges had been almost entirely positive to this point, so I wondered if this was just an instance where the material didn’t work for me personally. It was not. “You did one long bit,” said Andy. “It didn’t so much connect with me.” Natasha jumped right in and piled on, adding “Not only was it just one bit, but for even the first laugh, it seemed like it took a really long time to get there.” Lil’ Rel defended himself by explaining that he was performing character comedy. He then compared himself to Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor, and was struck by a bolt of lightning. Okay, maybe not the last bit, but…wow. That may have been what he was going for, but he clearly didn’t get there.
Jason Weems was another performer relishing the opportunity he had been given. “Tonight can be the defining moment that gets me…from performing for 18 people to hopefully 18,000.” He was clearly excited to be there, and that positivity carried over to his very first joke. “I have always wanted to point into a balcony,” he noted, doing just that to the fans upstairs. “I have made it.” From there he went on to talk about his day job as a kindergarten teacher, including one little girl who watched him intently as he ate a banana. “Ahh…he is a monkey,” the girl said, with Jason quoting her in a very funny, near-whispered revelatory voice. He talked about trying not to take offense, before realizing, “All that lets me know is you had a previous discussion on the possibilities of me being a monkey.” I found this bit hilarious, but Natasha said she had a hard time connecting. Apparently the audience agreed with me, because they voraciously booed her upon hearing that statement. “I thought you had some jokes that were really good,” said Greg, “and some that weren’t as good.”
Ryan Hamilton feigned confidence by noting that he could always return to his non-competitive valet parking job if comedy didn’t work out. But he won the audience over immediately with his self-deprecating remark that “I know you can tell just by looking at me that I’m a big risk taker.” Everything about him made this funny, from his gangly build to his, umm, “interesting” face to his voice that quavers on the verge of cracking. He then rolled through a funny, extended bit about his sky diving experience on a jump with an instructor who insisted on being called Tandem Master. “You’re already strapped to my back,” said Ryan. “I know who’s boss in this situation.” He had several other really funny jokes about the experience, but once again Natasha did not feel a connection…and again, the audience booed her. I thought she was supposed to be the Paula of the panel, not the Simon. Natasha did give him credit for his physicality, and Greg observed how Ryan got laughs merely by walking on stage. “In real life, that’s not good,” Greg quipped.
Paula Bel was a brusque, no-nonsense lady during her audition and that demeanor carried forward to her mindset for the semis. “I’m going to do what I like to do,” she stated. Her set featured jokes about how President Obama’s time in office is aging him so much that eventually he’ll look like Grady from Sanford and Son. She had some other bits that seemed to connect with the audience, but I noticed a small but distracting tic, in which she often seemed to stumble or pause slightly right before delivering a key word in a punch line. The judges didn’t comment on it, so maybe that was just me. But then again, the panel didn’t have much of a chance to say anything, as Paula shot down each of them with biting, funny comments.
Jesse Joyce looks forward to getting to celebrate his success in the “comedy locker rooms,” which is probably a place not many of us would ever want to go. He began with a funny bit about having played a comedian in a movie, and how movies never depict the profession accurately, comparing it to how a pizza delivery guy must feel watching a porno flick. Joyce then ventured into a joke with a very long set up about breaking down while driving in a tunnel, and then having to exit on an access road and return to the beginning of his trek. These semi final sets are short, and yet the set up to this one was so long that he actually asked the audience “Are you with me so far?” The payoff was strong, though, with him realizing that he was now sitting in a traffic jam that he had created himself. Natasha noted that his material would have benefitted from a longer set, and that was certainly the case. Greg seemed impressed with the attempt to do something different, rather than the rapid-fire jokes we had seen so much before.
Rachel Feinstein was another comic with a different approach. “I tell stories, I don’t so much do joke-punch line,” she explained. She had funny stuff about dating a guy with a unique physique, including his “pronounced hips.” She performed a couple of distinctive characters, showing talent for voices, which Natasha found fun to watch. Greg noted that some of the male audience members reacted “like filthy pigs,” when Rachel walked on. “It’s very hard to be hot, and get that reaction, and then be funny,” said Greg. “And you were.”
Many of the night’s comics commented on the possibility of exposure, but Kirk Fox let us in on a different kind completely, something he experienced when his pants fell off on stage in Tijuana. “I believe I exposed more there than I will tonight.” His strength is his unique personality and stage presence, and even he admitted that he thought he was funnier between his jokes than during them. However, his bit about knowing how he is going to die because his 100-year-old upstairs neighbor recently bought a .357 Magnum was very solid. “I love your energy on stage,” said Andy. “I love your approach.”
Amanda Melson wasn’t sure if she was most excited about the show serving as a chance for more money, better exposure, or just as an opportunity to prove something to herself. She led off with a very funny bit about her recent haircut, because her prior style had gotten “long to the point where I looked like I might have been home schooled.” She then transitioned into talking about working for a cool company that felt the need to be edgy in everything they did, including their clothing drive for the homeless. Greg summed things up nicely, observing that “Maybe it wasn’t the hugest reaction but I thought the jokes were really well written.”
Chip Pope finally gave us a completely new reason for enjoying being on the show: because it means he might not die in the same apartment he’s been living in for the past ten years. Chip explained that he is gay, but that his family lived in an efficiency growing up, so he couldn’t even come out of the closet. “I had to come out from behind the curtain that separated the living room from the kitchen.” He also had a very smart bit about imagining what Paul Simon’s latest song would sound like. It’s hard to explain exactly how Chip did this, but it worked very well, mimicking Simon’s vocal tone and songwriting style. “I’d never heard anything like it,” raved Greg.
Let’s take a moment to acknowledge new host Craig Robinson, who has been doing a great job holding everything together so far, with a quick quip here and a funny aside to the judges there. However, he might be at his best when he’s talking right to us. “You’re watching the show that I know I could win if it weren’t for these damn bunions,” he said. “Oh, wait, that’s Dancing With The Stars. That show sucks!” I just find him really likeable.
Alycia Cooper showed no ill effects from such a long wait to go on. “I’m just ready to do it,” she proclaimed. She opened with a riff on the current invasive state of airport security before making a simple request of guys everywhere. “Men, please stop cheating,” she implored. “You suck at it.” She followed this with jokes about Tiger Woods and his 18 “side pieces,” and their less than stellar quality, telling guys that if they’re going to cheat, at least “cheat up.” Greg was right in stating that some of the jokes were very funny, while others didn’t rise up.
David Feldman wrapped up the night with a wry observation about how he was thrilled to be a part of the 2500 people that reached the semis and really hoped to advance to the next round of 1500. Tonight’s performances were mostly very solid, but his numbers didn’t feel far off at this point, so I was just happy to see him do something different. David has a velvety smooth vocal tone, like a radio announcer or voiceover artist, which made his dark jokes about his daughters sound even more cutting. Greg loved the twists and surprises in David’s joke writing, noting that with that kind of stuff, the audience doesn’t even matter. “The crowd gets in the way,” David deadpanned. He was distinctive and memorable, if not an outright laugh riot.
That brought us to the end of the first semi final performance round. And while this show takes blatant shots at American Idol, they did everything aside from bringing in Ryan Seacrest to say, “dim the lights,” for the manner in which they announced the five comics moving on. Everyone was brought to the stage as a group, and this is where I first noticed something a little off. At the start of the show, it was stated that 20 comics were performing, but there were definitely more than that on stage. Around 23, I think. Now, I’m not going to rewind and freeze-frame this thing like it’s the Zapruder film, but I did find it odd. Maybe there were some performances that were actually a part of next week’s show, which would make complete sense.
Anyway, then Ryan, I mean Craig, divided the comics into five groups, having them step forward as a group one at a time. One comedian from each group advanced to what they now told us was the final ten. After this 3200-plus word monstrosity, I’m not going to list every member of every group for you, but here is who moved on: Felipe, Myq, Rachel, Mike, and Jonathan. There were a couple of cuts that I thought were kind of painful, but I was not surprised in the least to see any of those five move forward.
I’m still a little confused, because the previews showed essentially the same format taking place again next Monday. But my program guide lists a one-hour episode coming on Tuesday. I don’t know what to tell you, so I guess we’re in the dark together, waiting to see exactly how the last five spots get filled.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Food advertising pet peeve
I have always hated food items described with weird or needless adjectives, but that is just an attempt to make something more appealing, albeit in an odd and slightly annoying way. But there is a new trend that I just cannot get over: calling food items something that they're not. I'm not talking about "deconstructed" menu items, which seem to be all the rage on any televised cooking competition. That may be a little precious, but it at least makes some sort of sense, just presenting the ingredients in a new way. I'm talking about taking a defined food title that actually means something, and applying it to something else. Here are two examples.
#1. The Arby's "Roastburger." It is not a burger. It is a roast beef sandwich. Now, Arby's selling roast beef sandwiches makes all sorts of sense. Arby's selling a burger would also be fine. But Arby's selling a roast beef sandwich and calling it a burger is asinine. It is a sandwich comprised of slices of roast beef topped with things that often go on a burger. This is akin to selling a roast beef sandwich, splashing some salsa on it, and calling it a Roast Taco. No. Just stop.
#2. The Burger King Brunch "Mimosa." A mimosa is a delicious beverage mixing some sort of sparkling white wine, usually champagne, with orange juice. BK mixes OJ and Sprite. So, this is not unlike me mixing Hershey's syrup with seltzer and calling it a scotch and soda. Of course, if I did that, people would think that I was psychotic. Which this is.
The older I get, the more shit like this annoys me.
#1. The Arby's "Roastburger." It is not a burger. It is a roast beef sandwich. Now, Arby's selling roast beef sandwiches makes all sorts of sense. Arby's selling a burger would also be fine. But Arby's selling a roast beef sandwich and calling it a burger is asinine. It is a sandwich comprised of slices of roast beef topped with things that often go on a burger. This is akin to selling a roast beef sandwich, splashing some salsa on it, and calling it a Roast Taco. No. Just stop.
#2. The Burger King Brunch "Mimosa." A mimosa is a delicious beverage mixing some sort of sparkling white wine, usually champagne, with orange juice. BK mixes OJ and Sprite. So, this is not unlike me mixing Hershey's syrup with seltzer and calling it a scotch and soda. Of course, if I did that, people would think that I was psychotic. Which this is.
The older I get, the more shit like this annoys me.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Last Comic Standing - June 21 recap
After three hours of audition episodes, NBC’s Last Comic Standing surprised many viewers by being genuinely funny. Could we actually expect more quality comedy from another audition round in New York City? Would Andy Kindler continue his great sartorial suggestions? And how does Greg Giraldo keep his scruff exactly that length all the time? Most of these questions were answered this week.
Host Craig Robinson caught viewers up with a quick “previously on” recap, explaining how the show is conducting “a massive search for stand up genius.” That might be stretching things a little, but after recent seasons we will be ecstatic to get a handful of comics that don’t make us want to claw our own eyes out. This was the final audition episode and it’s simply amazing that the show has found a plethora of worthy candidates, when in recent seasons they couldn’t find even one. This episode unfolded just like last week’s, with a series of tryouts at New York City’s Gotham Comedy Club.
Once again, we saw several solid comics right off the bat, including a few semi-recognizable faces. Kyle Grooms has been on TV a fair amount before, including on several VH1 pop culture specials. He’s a funny guy, and he advanced to callbacks on the strength of his routine about our current “beige” president. Another quality performer that advanced to the showcase was Nikki Glaser, who I just saw in an interesting documentary called I Am Comic, which is about, ironically enough, stand up comedy. She made it to the semis of LCS four years ago and admitted that she wasn’t ready then. She is now, with a confident, polished act. “I think we saw a lot of interesting individuals in New York,” said judge Natasha Legerro. “And the ones that were funny were really funny.”
Sadly, we were still force-fed the obligatory montage of the ones that weren’t funny, including but not limited to clowns, jugglers, and cross-dressers. Andy Kindler seemed to have tired of evaluating the sideshow freaks. “I relate to vulnerability,” he said. “I like a comic who sweats inappropriately.” Another thing that seemed to grate on him was a string of anti-Semitic material. Granted, most of it was done by comics that were Jewish themselves, but that didn’t make him any less sick of it. We saw him react to one Jewish joke after another before he pleaded for mercy from his fellow judges. “If one of the comics tries to round me up, will someone intervene?”
Meanwhile, Craig attended to the patient masses outside again, which this week included a telemarketer, a chef, and a post-op tranny. The talent was diverse on stage as well, where we saw auditions from a vegan, a husband and wife (performing separately), and the 19-year-old brother of comedy legend Chris Rock. Young Jordan Rock wasn’t quite ready for the spotlight, and the judges noted that his material just wasn’t up to par yet. But he was undaunted, promising to return as a funnier, more prepared 20-year-old next season. “The audition process is very difficult,” noted Andy. “I admire anyone that does it well.”
One “comic” who did not audition well was the unfortunate person inside something that resembled a Twinkie mascot costume. This turned out to be a painful advertisement for an upcoming film from NBC’s parent company, Universal. These kinds of product placement sellout stunts are more prevalent than ever now, and they range in tastefulness from mildly obtrusive to entirely offensive. This one fell somewhere in the middle, partially because the judges at least made fun of the whole thing. “Oh wait, this is the product integration audition,” Greg Giraldo noted. NBC’s not paying me, so I don’t need to repeat the copywriting that Natasha plowed through with a big, fake smile on her face like a good solider. Instead, I’ll echo Greg’s sentiments toward his fellow panelists: “Nice work, whores.”
The second New York showcase saw 11 more worthy comics move on to the semi finals. The aforementioned Nikki Glaser got a ticket, as did Kyle Grooms with a very funny and self-deprecating bit about his unintimidating name. “Kyle is a nice name,” he noted, “But it’s not a Mandingo black man’s name.” Carmen Lynch advanced, and judging by my highly unscientific Twitter research of trending topics and retweets, she had one of the most popular sets of the night, referencing her therapist throwing her off by using an odd phrase about being unable to put an egg back into a chicken. “That is the most distracting analogy I’ve ever heard,” she explained. “That’s all I want to do now…I’m going to find a chicken and I’m going to shove an egg into its chicken hole.”
Ryan Hamilton advanced on the strength of a bit that mocked New Yorkers and their perception that anyone between the coasts is located in the Midwest, noting “Everything past Jersey is corn cob pipes and coveralls in your head.” Jerry Rocha was thrilled at receiving a ticket, saying, “This is the only thing I’ve ever won in my life.” Mike Vecchione, Jason Weems, Nick Cobb, and Adrienne Iapalucci all moved on as well, as did the uniquely named Myq Kaplan, who had a strong set about his previous gigs at engineering schools, as well as a very popular bit about his desire to rename the nickname for a certain part of a woman’s anatomy. The final spot went to Brian McKim of the married contestants. His wife seemed genuinely more happy for him than upset for herself, which was nice to see.
And that is where we stand. Craig summed up New York nicely, saying, “We’ve seen a lot of great comics and a lot of things I never want to talk about again.” Auditions are done, and we move directly on to the semi final round next week. Based on the comedians we know have moved on, things look like they are right on track. This isn’t a murderer’s row of comic legends, but rather a group of unique comedians with strong points of view, most of whom seem to be legitimately funny so far. NBC producers could certainly pull some strings and assemble a lineup of finalists exactly the way they want it, but unlike seasons past, right now there doesn’t appear to be a lot of possibility for egregious choices to be made. We have a very solid group of talented comics, and the semi final round should continue to be humorous and entertaining. To this point, the show has been pleasantly devoid of the worst drama that tainted it before. Let’s hope it stays that way.
Host Craig Robinson caught viewers up with a quick “previously on” recap, explaining how the show is conducting “a massive search for stand up genius.” That might be stretching things a little, but after recent seasons we will be ecstatic to get a handful of comics that don’t make us want to claw our own eyes out. This was the final audition episode and it’s simply amazing that the show has found a plethora of worthy candidates, when in recent seasons they couldn’t find even one. This episode unfolded just like last week’s, with a series of tryouts at New York City’s Gotham Comedy Club.
Once again, we saw several solid comics right off the bat, including a few semi-recognizable faces. Kyle Grooms has been on TV a fair amount before, including on several VH1 pop culture specials. He’s a funny guy, and he advanced to callbacks on the strength of his routine about our current “beige” president. Another quality performer that advanced to the showcase was Nikki Glaser, who I just saw in an interesting documentary called I Am Comic, which is about, ironically enough, stand up comedy. She made it to the semis of LCS four years ago and admitted that she wasn’t ready then. She is now, with a confident, polished act. “I think we saw a lot of interesting individuals in New York,” said judge Natasha Legerro. “And the ones that were funny were really funny.”
Sadly, we were still force-fed the obligatory montage of the ones that weren’t funny, including but not limited to clowns, jugglers, and cross-dressers. Andy Kindler seemed to have tired of evaluating the sideshow freaks. “I relate to vulnerability,” he said. “I like a comic who sweats inappropriately.” Another thing that seemed to grate on him was a string of anti-Semitic material. Granted, most of it was done by comics that were Jewish themselves, but that didn’t make him any less sick of it. We saw him react to one Jewish joke after another before he pleaded for mercy from his fellow judges. “If one of the comics tries to round me up, will someone intervene?”
Meanwhile, Craig attended to the patient masses outside again, which this week included a telemarketer, a chef, and a post-op tranny. The talent was diverse on stage as well, where we saw auditions from a vegan, a husband and wife (performing separately), and the 19-year-old brother of comedy legend Chris Rock. Young Jordan Rock wasn’t quite ready for the spotlight, and the judges noted that his material just wasn’t up to par yet. But he was undaunted, promising to return as a funnier, more prepared 20-year-old next season. “The audition process is very difficult,” noted Andy. “I admire anyone that does it well.”
One “comic” who did not audition well was the unfortunate person inside something that resembled a Twinkie mascot costume. This turned out to be a painful advertisement for an upcoming film from NBC’s parent company, Universal. These kinds of product placement sellout stunts are more prevalent than ever now, and they range in tastefulness from mildly obtrusive to entirely offensive. This one fell somewhere in the middle, partially because the judges at least made fun of the whole thing. “Oh wait, this is the product integration audition,” Greg Giraldo noted. NBC’s not paying me, so I don’t need to repeat the copywriting that Natasha plowed through with a big, fake smile on her face like a good solider. Instead, I’ll echo Greg’s sentiments toward his fellow panelists: “Nice work, whores.”
The second New York showcase saw 11 more worthy comics move on to the semi finals. The aforementioned Nikki Glaser got a ticket, as did Kyle Grooms with a very funny and self-deprecating bit about his unintimidating name. “Kyle is a nice name,” he noted, “But it’s not a Mandingo black man’s name.” Carmen Lynch advanced, and judging by my highly unscientific Twitter research of trending topics and retweets, she had one of the most popular sets of the night, referencing her therapist throwing her off by using an odd phrase about being unable to put an egg back into a chicken. “That is the most distracting analogy I’ve ever heard,” she explained. “That’s all I want to do now…I’m going to find a chicken and I’m going to shove an egg into its chicken hole.”
Ryan Hamilton advanced on the strength of a bit that mocked New Yorkers and their perception that anyone between the coasts is located in the Midwest, noting “Everything past Jersey is corn cob pipes and coveralls in your head.” Jerry Rocha was thrilled at receiving a ticket, saying, “This is the only thing I’ve ever won in my life.” Mike Vecchione, Jason Weems, Nick Cobb, and Adrienne Iapalucci all moved on as well, as did the uniquely named Myq Kaplan, who had a strong set about his previous gigs at engineering schools, as well as a very popular bit about his desire to rename the nickname for a certain part of a woman’s anatomy. The final spot went to Brian McKim of the married contestants. His wife seemed genuinely more happy for him than upset for herself, which was nice to see.
And that is where we stand. Craig summed up New York nicely, saying, “We’ve seen a lot of great comics and a lot of things I never want to talk about again.” Auditions are done, and we move directly on to the semi final round next week. Based on the comedians we know have moved on, things look like they are right on track. This isn’t a murderer’s row of comic legends, but rather a group of unique comedians with strong points of view, most of whom seem to be legitimately funny so far. NBC producers could certainly pull some strings and assemble a lineup of finalists exactly the way they want it, but unlike seasons past, right now there doesn’t appear to be a lot of possibility for egregious choices to be made. We have a very solid group of talented comics, and the semi final round should continue to be humorous and entertaining. To this point, the show has been pleasantly devoid of the worst drama that tainted it before. Let’s hope it stays that way.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Last Comic Standing - June 14 recap
Last week, NBC surprised viewers by bringing Last Comic Standing back to their summer schedule. In an even bigger shock, the retooled show was genuinely funny. Was this a one-week wonder, or are we in for a funny season for the first time in years?
Host Craig Robinson was back with his keytar in tow, starting things off with another little song to get things going. We also got to see Andy Kindler and Greg Giraldo gently swaying to the beat, while Natasha Leggero exhibited some serious dance moves. It’s also worth mentioning that she looks like she might be about four foot six. The scene had moved to a round of auditions at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City, a hotbed for the American stand up comedy scene.
Right from the jump, Greg continued to demonstrate impressive chops as a judge as he informed the first comic about the manner in which a bad tag ruined a good joke. Shortly after this, the producers and editors elected to get the obligatory “New York/mafia/gangsters” stuff out of the way by showing one comedian outside a pizza parlor with his buddies, a motley crew that looked like they walked right off the set of a Scorsese movie. We were even subjected to a knockoff of Godfather soundtrack music over the bit. The comedian in question, Mike DeStefano, exhibits an intentionally brusque manner and he seems like an interesting guy, explaining that he used to be a drug counselor and, before that, a drug addict.
The auditions continued, and for the second straight week the talent level was high. There were some great jokes from people that didn’t even get callbacks to the showcase, like Kevin Bozeman’s stance on abortion, when he noted “I’m pro life except for like two times.” Judge Andy was conflicted on this week’s talent pool. “I was actually very happy with how many good comics there are,” he stated. “And then I thought the level of comedy sunk really low.” He might have been referring to the next performer, who took to the stage naked. The judges gunned him down mercilessly and deservedly. “This can be pixilated,” the comic stated, referring to his own junk. “No need,” replied Greg immediately. “It already looks pixilated,” added Andy. Natasha just tried to look away, but like an eclipse, she seemed unable to avert her eyes. At home we thankfully didn’t see anything but a black bar obscuring the area. It sounds like we missed something fascinating, though. “His groin looked like a hairy, brown version of a game show buzzer,” explained Andy in far too graphic detail.
Craig took to the streets to encourage the waiting contestants, asking some what they planned to do once they got inside. “I’m gonna do a whole bunch of foolishness,” blurted out one hopeful. Cut to the vintage LCS parade of weirdness. “Some of the people that come in are just crazy people,” noted Greg. “And for this competition, you need to be funny on purpose.” This observance could have been specifically targeted at a comic who entered in head to toe clown apparel and announced, “I might be the last comic standing, you never know.” The judges were not impressed. “No, we know,” answered Greg.
However, the good heavily outweighed the bad for the second straight week. That’s why I found it odd that the editing elected to dip back into the cliché well again. “When you come to New York you expect to see a certain amount of that typical New York style comedy,” noted Natasha. And judging from the montage that followed, “typical” meant “Italian.” It was a series of quick cuts featuring only Italian last names or big, bad accents. “Guess what, guys? You need more than just the accent,” she added. This bit just felt odd, coming on the heels of the prior DeStefano piece that was staged exactly like a scene from The Sopranos. It just seemed like overkill.
Something else beaten to the brink of death was, surprisingly, a ton of ventriloquists and their dummies. There were a staggering number of them, including one whose dummy had his own dummy. “The third guy was cool,” said Greg of the trio. “But for what I’m looking for, I’d say no.” Andy also had to offer a resounding negative to the ventriloquist who made no attempt to actually throw his voice, but instead just covered his mouth with his hand and a cigar. Thankfully, this minor interjection of badness was followed by another string of callbacks to several funny people.
At the showcase that evening, nine lucky comics won tickets to perform in the semi final round in Hollywood. Roy Wood Jr. was funny on stage and all business off it, noting that he immediately wanted to dig into his notebook after learning he had advanced. Tommy Johnagin was my favorite performer of the night, with some really funny stuff about his breakup after a long-term relationship. His delivery was great, even if his voice sounded almost exactly like Shia LaBeouf. Claudia Cogan demonstrated an extreme desire to move on, saying that she would do whatever it took, including turning into ten tigers on stage. I hope to see that next week, because she got a red ticket. Kurt Metzger was an interesting guy who seems like he’d be fun to watch in the house. Speaking of which, are we getting the house this year? Did NBC keep the lease on the Scooby Doo mansion? I honestly have no idea.
The final two of the night’s nine slots went to Mike DeStefano and Jamie Lee, a funny young woman who couldn’t contain her genuine enthusiasm at getting a callback, running through the aisles of the Gotham Comedy Club, wielding her ticket like a lottery winner. Good for her. Earlier she let us know that she had quit her day gig and put all her eggs in the comedy basket. Stories like hers are what this show should be all about.
After two weeks I’m beyond happy with the potential pool of finalists, and judging from the comics we’ve seen so far, there is little potential for casting drama. The semi finalists are so good that the producers couldn’t screw this up even if they wanted to—a claim that has actually been leveled in the past. Next week we get another round of auditions in the Big Apple, giving us even more talented comedians to contend for the final spots. Compared to the last few seasons, this has been an embarrassment of riches so far.
Host Craig Robinson was back with his keytar in tow, starting things off with another little song to get things going. We also got to see Andy Kindler and Greg Giraldo gently swaying to the beat, while Natasha Leggero exhibited some serious dance moves. It’s also worth mentioning that she looks like she might be about four foot six. The scene had moved to a round of auditions at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City, a hotbed for the American stand up comedy scene.
Right from the jump, Greg continued to demonstrate impressive chops as a judge as he informed the first comic about the manner in which a bad tag ruined a good joke. Shortly after this, the producers and editors elected to get the obligatory “New York/mafia/gangsters” stuff out of the way by showing one comedian outside a pizza parlor with his buddies, a motley crew that looked like they walked right off the set of a Scorsese movie. We were even subjected to a knockoff of Godfather soundtrack music over the bit. The comedian in question, Mike DeStefano, exhibits an intentionally brusque manner and he seems like an interesting guy, explaining that he used to be a drug counselor and, before that, a drug addict.
The auditions continued, and for the second straight week the talent level was high. There were some great jokes from people that didn’t even get callbacks to the showcase, like Kevin Bozeman’s stance on abortion, when he noted “I’m pro life except for like two times.” Judge Andy was conflicted on this week’s talent pool. “I was actually very happy with how many good comics there are,” he stated. “And then I thought the level of comedy sunk really low.” He might have been referring to the next performer, who took to the stage naked. The judges gunned him down mercilessly and deservedly. “This can be pixilated,” the comic stated, referring to his own junk. “No need,” replied Greg immediately. “It already looks pixilated,” added Andy. Natasha just tried to look away, but like an eclipse, she seemed unable to avert her eyes. At home we thankfully didn’t see anything but a black bar obscuring the area. It sounds like we missed something fascinating, though. “His groin looked like a hairy, brown version of a game show buzzer,” explained Andy in far too graphic detail.
Craig took to the streets to encourage the waiting contestants, asking some what they planned to do once they got inside. “I’m gonna do a whole bunch of foolishness,” blurted out one hopeful. Cut to the vintage LCS parade of weirdness. “Some of the people that come in are just crazy people,” noted Greg. “And for this competition, you need to be funny on purpose.” This observance could have been specifically targeted at a comic who entered in head to toe clown apparel and announced, “I might be the last comic standing, you never know.” The judges were not impressed. “No, we know,” answered Greg.
However, the good heavily outweighed the bad for the second straight week. That’s why I found it odd that the editing elected to dip back into the cliché well again. “When you come to New York you expect to see a certain amount of that typical New York style comedy,” noted Natasha. And judging from the montage that followed, “typical” meant “Italian.” It was a series of quick cuts featuring only Italian last names or big, bad accents. “Guess what, guys? You need more than just the accent,” she added. This bit just felt odd, coming on the heels of the prior DeStefano piece that was staged exactly like a scene from The Sopranos. It just seemed like overkill.
Something else beaten to the brink of death was, surprisingly, a ton of ventriloquists and their dummies. There were a staggering number of them, including one whose dummy had his own dummy. “The third guy was cool,” said Greg of the trio. “But for what I’m looking for, I’d say no.” Andy also had to offer a resounding negative to the ventriloquist who made no attempt to actually throw his voice, but instead just covered his mouth with his hand and a cigar. Thankfully, this minor interjection of badness was followed by another string of callbacks to several funny people.
At the showcase that evening, nine lucky comics won tickets to perform in the semi final round in Hollywood. Roy Wood Jr. was funny on stage and all business off it, noting that he immediately wanted to dig into his notebook after learning he had advanced. Tommy Johnagin was my favorite performer of the night, with some really funny stuff about his breakup after a long-term relationship. His delivery was great, even if his voice sounded almost exactly like Shia LaBeouf. Claudia Cogan demonstrated an extreme desire to move on, saying that she would do whatever it took, including turning into ten tigers on stage. I hope to see that next week, because she got a red ticket. Kurt Metzger was an interesting guy who seems like he’d be fun to watch in the house. Speaking of which, are we getting the house this year? Did NBC keep the lease on the Scooby Doo mansion? I honestly have no idea.
The final two of the night’s nine slots went to Mike DeStefano and Jamie Lee, a funny young woman who couldn’t contain her genuine enthusiasm at getting a callback, running through the aisles of the Gotham Comedy Club, wielding her ticket like a lottery winner. Good for her. Earlier she let us know that she had quit her day gig and put all her eggs in the comedy basket. Stories like hers are what this show should be all about.
After two weeks I’m beyond happy with the potential pool of finalists, and judging from the comics we’ve seen so far, there is little potential for casting drama. The semi finalists are so good that the producers couldn’t screw this up even if they wanted to—a claim that has actually been leveled in the past. Next week we get another round of auditions in the Big Apple, giving us even more talented comedians to contend for the final spots. Compared to the last few seasons, this has been an embarrassment of riches so far.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Last Comic Standing - June 7 recap
In the world of third tier summer television programming, anything goes. Case in point: Monday’s season premiere of Last Comic Standing on NBC, a show that has seemingly died more times than Kenny on South Park. They aren’t reinventing the wheel here, but if the first episode is any indication, this season has the potential to be one of the funniest ones the show has ever seen.
The affair kicked off with the introduction of a new host, and a genuinely funny one at that, Craig Robinson of The Office and Hot Tub Time Machine. He addressed the question on everyone’s mind immediately. “Last Comic Standing is back,” he announced. “I bet you’re wondering, how the hell did that happen?” Craig was nattily clad in an ascot and a smoking jacket—not the last one we’d see tonight—as he reminded everyone what the competition is about while plunking out a little tune on his keyboard. The grand prize this season is not just a vague talent deal, but $250,000 of cold, hard cash. Craig’s song ended, revealing an enthusiastic throng of would-be contestants behind him lining the streets outside The Improv in Los Angeles.
Inside, the comics auditioned for an entirely new panel of judges, and again, this season has made a tremendous upgrade by selecting Greg Giraldo, Natasha Leggero, and Andy Kindler, a trio of respected working comedians. Giraldo is a staple of the brilliant recent run of roasts on Comedy Central and his quick wit and experience are an excellent addition to this show. Kindler is another veteran, one who provided both valuable commentary and absurd fashion suggestions. I’m not as familiar with Natasha Leggero, but she was very funny and wildly charismatic. It’s no stretch to say this is the best panel of judges the show has ever seen.
The format of the show remained familiar, with the comics auditioning for the judges in hopes of being called back to another showcase performance. The night’s first performer, Maronzio Vance, set the tone for the evening. He tried out for the second season and admittedly wasn’t ready then. He is now, as he was funny and earned a callback. Lest we think that the nature of the audition shows has changed completely, we were quickly subjected to the vintage LCS parade of sideshow freaks, including a gothic killer clown and a man with an acoustic guitar and a devil costume, who was told succinctly that not only was he not getting a callback, but that he simply shouldn’t leave the house. “There were really some diamonds in the rough,” observed Natasha. “But I have to say, a lot of rough.” Unlike recent seasons, however, there were many more comics that could be seen as diamonds. Some of the bad ones were even good, like Kirk Fox, who pulled the plug on himself after a meandering tangent. “I peaked in the hallway,” he admitted. The judges admired both his sense of humor and his outright surrender. He was invited back for the showcase.
One frequent criticism of the show is that the producers often cast for types, not just for the funniest comedians, and those who think that will not be dissuaded by what they saw on Monday. We saw an at-home feature piece with Laurie Kilmartin, a single mom who has been performing for over two decades. She seems genuinely smart and funny, and she deserved better than some of the stagey bits they showed with her son at home. The show usually provides a handful of comics that I personally find tremendously annoying, yet ones I know will probably advance to the finals of the show. In this premiere episode, there weren’t many that fit the bill, but Fortune Feimster did. She also rated an at-home feature that consisted of nothing more than her dressing up and using silly, grating voices. To me, she was painfully unfunny. But she made the showcase, and I’d bet that she advances farther.
At the auditions, the good continued to mix with the bad. What I enjoyed was that instead of just outright awful, like the Buck Starrs of auditions past, this time we had comically talented judges critiquing overplayed, hackneyed stage styles and techniques. “I know what you’re thinking” was one line that they sagely picked on, followed by a plethora of performers trying to get a laugh with that exact phrase, usually at the expense of their own appearance or ethnic background. This was another point of emphasis for the judges, who observed how often current comics poke fun at themselves with bad jokes about their mixed race origins. Deft editing then revealed a veritable parade of just those kinds of jokes. The momentary lull left Natasha a little dazed. “Now I know why Paula Abdul was constantly high on pills,” she said in one of a handful of deserved potshots at American Idol.
Prescription medication may have helped Natasha weather the storm that was Edith Piaf, a pseudo-ventriloquist dog act. It was unique, for sure, since the dog in question was real, and the voice coming from it belonged to a woman with a microphone in the wings while another “performer” simply sat on stage holding the dog. It was as bizarre as it sounds, yet I laughed out loud at the canine that could have been Triumph’s long-lost cousin, and so did Greg. “I did laugh,” he admitted. “Because I laugh at anything weird or unusual.” Alas, Edith was not asked back.
But as the first day of L.A. auditions drew toward a conclusion, there was reason for optimism. This was an undeniably strong group, one so adept that humorous but imperfect comics like Guy Torry were left to wonder whether they were good enough. He had great stage presence and would have been a true contender in recent seasons, yet the judges observed that his material was not yet on par with his performance. This was a brilliant, dead-on note, and not the kind of wise comment we have seen often before in the early stages of this program. “The caliber of talent in Los Angeles has ranged from super polished headlining comedian to really unique voices who are about ready to break out and that’s what I’m looking for,” stated Natasha.
We were shown glimpses of fifteen comics performing at the showcase, although more than that actually took the stage. There wasn’t too much drama as 11 contestants were picked to advance to the semi-finals, with the lone bit of manufactured tension coming by leaving the single mom’s name to be called last. Unless this was your first time watching a competitive reality show like this, it was clear that she was advancing. The others joining her were a diverse, interesting, and mostly funny group.
Host Craig took to the monsoon-pelted streets of Los Angeles to do it all again for a second full day of auditions. There was plenty of crazy left for day two, including jugglers, balloon artists, and one guy dressed as an alien warrior, with an outfit complete down to a meticulously made up mask. “I think some people think if they put a crazy get-up on that they won’t have to write any material,” said Andy. Cut to: a guy in a furry suit on stilts. “And they are almost always wrong about that.” One flashy bit of styling worth noting belonged to Jonathan Thymius, a dry, older gentleman who took Andy’s joking suggestion to wear a smoking jacket to heart, showing up for his callback in a sparkly gold number that was a complete contrast to his personality. It was a great choice, and the judges loved it.
Showcase number two saw seven more talented performers picked to advance. I loved Rachel Feinstein’s unique perspective, Paula Bel’s sardonic manner, Chip Pope’s enthusiastic and infectious presence, and Jason Nash’s hilarious bit about his three year old son sounding like a World War Two general. After the first round of auditions, it is hard not to get excited about the prospects this season. It’s like watching a very talented draft class of athletes move from the college ranks to the pros, and after recent years so bad that I literally could not handle the show anymore, my spirits are buoyed. We have an amusing and enjoyable host, knowledgeable and hilarious judges, and several contestants that were laugh-out-loud funny. There has only been one audition stop, and we already have a wealth of unique comic voices to root for. Comedy is certainly subjective, but anyone who has watched the show before would be hard pressed to deny that, after this episode, it looks like a former train wreck is solidly and surprisingly back on track. Next week, the auditions move to New York City, and if the talent approaches what we saw in week one, we’re easily looking at the best potential group since the show’s heyday in seasons one through three.
The affair kicked off with the introduction of a new host, and a genuinely funny one at that, Craig Robinson of The Office and Hot Tub Time Machine. He addressed the question on everyone’s mind immediately. “Last Comic Standing is back,” he announced. “I bet you’re wondering, how the hell did that happen?” Craig was nattily clad in an ascot and a smoking jacket—not the last one we’d see tonight—as he reminded everyone what the competition is about while plunking out a little tune on his keyboard. The grand prize this season is not just a vague talent deal, but $250,000 of cold, hard cash. Craig’s song ended, revealing an enthusiastic throng of would-be contestants behind him lining the streets outside The Improv in Los Angeles.
Inside, the comics auditioned for an entirely new panel of judges, and again, this season has made a tremendous upgrade by selecting Greg Giraldo, Natasha Leggero, and Andy Kindler, a trio of respected working comedians. Giraldo is a staple of the brilliant recent run of roasts on Comedy Central and his quick wit and experience are an excellent addition to this show. Kindler is another veteran, one who provided both valuable commentary and absurd fashion suggestions. I’m not as familiar with Natasha Leggero, but she was very funny and wildly charismatic. It’s no stretch to say this is the best panel of judges the show has ever seen.
The format of the show remained familiar, with the comics auditioning for the judges in hopes of being called back to another showcase performance. The night’s first performer, Maronzio Vance, set the tone for the evening. He tried out for the second season and admittedly wasn’t ready then. He is now, as he was funny and earned a callback. Lest we think that the nature of the audition shows has changed completely, we were quickly subjected to the vintage LCS parade of sideshow freaks, including a gothic killer clown and a man with an acoustic guitar and a devil costume, who was told succinctly that not only was he not getting a callback, but that he simply shouldn’t leave the house. “There were really some diamonds in the rough,” observed Natasha. “But I have to say, a lot of rough.” Unlike recent seasons, however, there were many more comics that could be seen as diamonds. Some of the bad ones were even good, like Kirk Fox, who pulled the plug on himself after a meandering tangent. “I peaked in the hallway,” he admitted. The judges admired both his sense of humor and his outright surrender. He was invited back for the showcase.
One frequent criticism of the show is that the producers often cast for types, not just for the funniest comedians, and those who think that will not be dissuaded by what they saw on Monday. We saw an at-home feature piece with Laurie Kilmartin, a single mom who has been performing for over two decades. She seems genuinely smart and funny, and she deserved better than some of the stagey bits they showed with her son at home. The show usually provides a handful of comics that I personally find tremendously annoying, yet ones I know will probably advance to the finals of the show. In this premiere episode, there weren’t many that fit the bill, but Fortune Feimster did. She also rated an at-home feature that consisted of nothing more than her dressing up and using silly, grating voices. To me, she was painfully unfunny. But she made the showcase, and I’d bet that she advances farther.
At the auditions, the good continued to mix with the bad. What I enjoyed was that instead of just outright awful, like the Buck Starrs of auditions past, this time we had comically talented judges critiquing overplayed, hackneyed stage styles and techniques. “I know what you’re thinking” was one line that they sagely picked on, followed by a plethora of performers trying to get a laugh with that exact phrase, usually at the expense of their own appearance or ethnic background. This was another point of emphasis for the judges, who observed how often current comics poke fun at themselves with bad jokes about their mixed race origins. Deft editing then revealed a veritable parade of just those kinds of jokes. The momentary lull left Natasha a little dazed. “Now I know why Paula Abdul was constantly high on pills,” she said in one of a handful of deserved potshots at American Idol.
Prescription medication may have helped Natasha weather the storm that was Edith Piaf, a pseudo-ventriloquist dog act. It was unique, for sure, since the dog in question was real, and the voice coming from it belonged to a woman with a microphone in the wings while another “performer” simply sat on stage holding the dog. It was as bizarre as it sounds, yet I laughed out loud at the canine that could have been Triumph’s long-lost cousin, and so did Greg. “I did laugh,” he admitted. “Because I laugh at anything weird or unusual.” Alas, Edith was not asked back.
But as the first day of L.A. auditions drew toward a conclusion, there was reason for optimism. This was an undeniably strong group, one so adept that humorous but imperfect comics like Guy Torry were left to wonder whether they were good enough. He had great stage presence and would have been a true contender in recent seasons, yet the judges observed that his material was not yet on par with his performance. This was a brilliant, dead-on note, and not the kind of wise comment we have seen often before in the early stages of this program. “The caliber of talent in Los Angeles has ranged from super polished headlining comedian to really unique voices who are about ready to break out and that’s what I’m looking for,” stated Natasha.
We were shown glimpses of fifteen comics performing at the showcase, although more than that actually took the stage. There wasn’t too much drama as 11 contestants were picked to advance to the semi-finals, with the lone bit of manufactured tension coming by leaving the single mom’s name to be called last. Unless this was your first time watching a competitive reality show like this, it was clear that she was advancing. The others joining her were a diverse, interesting, and mostly funny group.
Host Craig took to the monsoon-pelted streets of Los Angeles to do it all again for a second full day of auditions. There was plenty of crazy left for day two, including jugglers, balloon artists, and one guy dressed as an alien warrior, with an outfit complete down to a meticulously made up mask. “I think some people think if they put a crazy get-up on that they won’t have to write any material,” said Andy. Cut to: a guy in a furry suit on stilts. “And they are almost always wrong about that.” One flashy bit of styling worth noting belonged to Jonathan Thymius, a dry, older gentleman who took Andy’s joking suggestion to wear a smoking jacket to heart, showing up for his callback in a sparkly gold number that was a complete contrast to his personality. It was a great choice, and the judges loved it.
Showcase number two saw seven more talented performers picked to advance. I loved Rachel Feinstein’s unique perspective, Paula Bel’s sardonic manner, Chip Pope’s enthusiastic and infectious presence, and Jason Nash’s hilarious bit about his three year old son sounding like a World War Two general. After the first round of auditions, it is hard not to get excited about the prospects this season. It’s like watching a very talented draft class of athletes move from the college ranks to the pros, and after recent years so bad that I literally could not handle the show anymore, my spirits are buoyed. We have an amusing and enjoyable host, knowledgeable and hilarious judges, and several contestants that were laugh-out-loud funny. There has only been one audition stop, and we already have a wealth of unique comic voices to root for. Comedy is certainly subjective, but anyone who has watched the show before would be hard pressed to deny that, after this episode, it looks like a former train wreck is solidly and surprisingly back on track. Next week, the auditions move to New York City, and if the talent approaches what we saw in week one, we’re easily looking at the best potential group since the show’s heyday in seasons one through three.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
The List - #53 completed
53. Spend one weekend eating only what we have one hand.
I took this one a step farther and did it for a whole week. Reported with some details on my other blog.
I really need to get back to working on The List.
I took this one a step farther and did it for a whole week. Reported with some details on my other blog.
I really need to get back to working on The List.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Fair share?!?
I just shouldn't go to CNN anymore. I don't know why I bother. I never really blog about politics, so this is just more of a vent, which I had to do for my own sanity after reading that Hilary Clinton says the rich aren't paying their fair share. Seriously? Okay, let's just take the most cursory of glances, done by simply Googling "tax bracket by income."
Taxable income from 34,000 to 82,400: 25%. 82,400 to 171,850: 28%. 171,850 to 373,650: 33%. 373,650 and up: 35%. I'm not sure where her fictional "rich" cutoff is, but it's clear that the rich are paying substantially more than their fair share. Even with a flat tax, the rich would pay far more than lower earners. But with the current graduated rate of taxes, they pay exorbitantly more: a higher percentage of their income, and much, much more in total dollars. Where is the fairness here?
And they don't get anything extra for these dollars. It's not like there are high income bracket roads, or 35% tax rate public schools. At least when you pay more for a good airline seat you get a faster check in line. Her assertion is asinine. Many wealthy people willingly choose to help those less fortunate than them. It's called charity. Clinton's blathering goes on to cite Brazil as an example to strive for. Really? Here are a few facts about this nation she wants the US to emulate:
* Brazil is not in the top half dozen nations in the world in GDP.
* Their biggest industry, by far, is oil and gas operations, to the tune of nearly five times the revenue of their next biggest industry, which happens to be mining. How does this jibe with Clinton's environmental beliefs, I wonder?
* The 2010 Brazilian minimum wage is $510 reals per month, with an additional half month's salary in June and December. This is the equivalent of around $300 US. Per month. Are we going to knock the US minimum wage down to $2 an hour in our pursuit of a Brazilian economy?
* Brazilian tax rates: 27.5% for everyone who earns over 43K reals (about 25,000 US). Corporations get hit to the tune of 34%.
I'm looking for any part of this that looks appealing and I'm not seeing it. How about we stop giving out mortgages to people that can't afford them, pass a flat tax, abolish the IRS, continue with a little free market system called "capitalism" that actually rewards success, and see how that works out for a while?
Taxable income from 34,000 to 82,400: 25%. 82,400 to 171,850: 28%. 171,850 to 373,650: 33%. 373,650 and up: 35%. I'm not sure where her fictional "rich" cutoff is, but it's clear that the rich are paying substantially more than their fair share. Even with a flat tax, the rich would pay far more than lower earners. But with the current graduated rate of taxes, they pay exorbitantly more: a higher percentage of their income, and much, much more in total dollars. Where is the fairness here?
And they don't get anything extra for these dollars. It's not like there are high income bracket roads, or 35% tax rate public schools. At least when you pay more for a good airline seat you get a faster check in line. Her assertion is asinine. Many wealthy people willingly choose to help those less fortunate than them. It's called charity. Clinton's blathering goes on to cite Brazil as an example to strive for. Really? Here are a few facts about this nation she wants the US to emulate:
* Brazil is not in the top half dozen nations in the world in GDP.
* Their biggest industry, by far, is oil and gas operations, to the tune of nearly five times the revenue of their next biggest industry, which happens to be mining. How does this jibe with Clinton's environmental beliefs, I wonder?
* The 2010 Brazilian minimum wage is $510 reals per month, with an additional half month's salary in June and December. This is the equivalent of around $300 US. Per month. Are we going to knock the US minimum wage down to $2 an hour in our pursuit of a Brazilian economy?
* Brazilian tax rates: 27.5% for everyone who earns over 43K reals (about 25,000 US). Corporations get hit to the tune of 34%.
I'm looking for any part of this that looks appealing and I'm not seeing it. How about we stop giving out mortgages to people that can't afford them, pass a flat tax, abolish the IRS, continue with a little free market system called "capitalism" that actually rewards success, and see how that works out for a while?
Friday, May 21, 2010
30 years?!?
It’s hard to believe that it has been thirty years since The Empire Strikes Back came out. Going to see it on opening night was one of the defining film-going moments of my childhood…and we didn’t even get in.
I was nine years old and we lived in Bolton, Massachusetts, a small suburban town without a movie theatre. Dad loaded up the whole family and we drove in to Boston to catch an evening show. There were certainly closer theatres we could have hit—Acton, Leominster, and Worcester were three of our usual go-tos at the time—but dad clearly knew that this was “An Event.” We parked in a big garage, walked to a busy downtown theatre…and got shut out about half a dozen spots before we were due to get our tickets. For some reason I don’t even remember being crushed about it, although I’m sure I was at the time. I’m not even positive when I finally did catch the movie, though I’m guessing it was on Saturday at one of those other theatres. But what I do remember is that Dad took me to Boston to see what ended up being one of the most important movies of my life.
My dad and I certainly have different movie-watching tastes. He is more discerning, and I’d guess that at this point he makes it out to a theatre maybe once a year. But he was a huge part of turning me into a movie fan as a kid, and I have vivid memories of many dad-related film experiences. We got a VCR very early on, and dad rented an additional one from the store on the same day that he came home with “Star Wars” and “Superman.” It was my first video piracy experience and nothing could have made me happier than having those two flicks at my disposal any time I wanted. This was shortly after our first video store rental experience: Dad came home with the classic (and recently reimagined) “Clash of the Titans.” My son A.J. is only three, and not quite ready for the full-on splash into big time action flicks yet, but I only hope that when the day comes he enjoys watching those kinds of movies with his dad as much as I did.
Friday, May 07, 2010
Random Fives
Let's wrap up the week with some completely random lists of five.
Five TV Shows I Am Perfectly Happy To Have Never Seen
1. Glee
2. Desperate Housewives
3. Any televised dancing show
4. Any show where some woman talks to ghosts or dead people
5. Ugly Betty
Five Great TV Shows I Watch That Deserve More Attention Than They Are Getting
1. Community
2. Parks & Rec
3. Party Down
4. Parenthood
5. Chuck
Five Bands That Are Apparently Cool That I Heard At Least One Song From and Didn't Like At All
1. MGMT
2. Wilco
3. Arctic Monkeys
4. Vampire Weekend
5. Phoenix
Five Singers/Bands I Do Like (might surprise some people)
1. Taylor Swift
2. Ke$ha
3. Katy Perry
4. Fergie
5. Paramore
Five Guys Currently Really Underachieving on my Fantasy Team
1. Raul Ibanez
2. Wandy Rodriguez
3. Clayton Kershaw
4. Hideki Okajima
5. Victor Martinez...hopefully the bomb last night is the start of something
Five Teams I Will Always Hate, No Matter What*
1. New York Yankees
2. Los Angeles Lakers
3. New York Jets
4. New York Knicks
5. University of Arizona Wildcats
* Unless A.J. ended up playing for one of them. Which is a blog for another day.
Five TV Shows I Am Perfectly Happy To Have Never Seen
1. Glee
2. Desperate Housewives
3. Any televised dancing show
4. Any show where some woman talks to ghosts or dead people
5. Ugly Betty
Five Great TV Shows I Watch That Deserve More Attention Than They Are Getting
1. Community
2. Parks & Rec
3. Party Down
4. Parenthood
5. Chuck
Five Bands That Are Apparently Cool That I Heard At Least One Song From and Didn't Like At All
1. MGMT
2. Wilco
3. Arctic Monkeys
4. Vampire Weekend
5. Phoenix
Five Singers/Bands I Do Like (might surprise some people)
1. Taylor Swift
2. Ke$ha
3. Katy Perry
4. Fergie
5. Paramore
Five Guys Currently Really Underachieving on my Fantasy Team
1. Raul Ibanez
2. Wandy Rodriguez
3. Clayton Kershaw
4. Hideki Okajima
5. Victor Martinez...hopefully the bomb last night is the start of something
Five Teams I Will Always Hate, No Matter What*
1. New York Yankees
2. Los Angeles Lakers
3. New York Jets
4. New York Knicks
5. University of Arizona Wildcats
* Unless A.J. ended up playing for one of them. Which is a blog for another day.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Red Sox Panic
The Boston Red Sox are cooked. They're a fourth place team that cannot compete with the athleticism of the Tampa Bay Rays or the big budget, loaded top-to-bottom roster of the New York Yankees. The offense is anemic, the rotation is overrated, the bullpen is a mess, and the much-ballyhooed defense is a disaster.
I don't believe any of these things. But it seems like I'm in the minority, as one or all of the above thoughts are the prevailing view of the Olde Towne Team at the moment. Have they played badly? Absolutely. But the grand proclamations that the very composition of this team was a mistake seem really premature to me. We're not even 30 games into the season, and the Sox have played a huge chunk of the schedule so far without their starting left and center fielders. They are getting sub-Buddy Biancalana production from the DH spot. Ace starting pitchers that are notorious slow starters have--shocker--started slowly! I'm not ready to flip the panic switch yet about any or all of these issues. Every team has concerns, and a few bad losses early magnify them.
Take, for instance, a club that looks, in some ways, a little bit like this one on paper. The team in question had three of their five rotation members post ERAs over 4.00, including two at 4.87 and 5.42. The top two set up men were each overworked to the tune of 70+ games with ERAs north of 4.00. The defense was so bad that a mid-season trade was required to stabilize the fielding at two infield spots. That one probably gives it away, but in case it doesn't, I'm talking about...the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox.
I know that the two iterations of the club actually have very little in common. The point I'm making is that it is easy to cherry pick stats to make just about any argument you want to, and it's even easier less than 20% into a season. Beckett and Lester are going to be fine. The DH production will improve, whether it's Big Papi hitting more or sitting more. The defense is the most troubling thing to me, because Adrian Beltre and Marco Scutaro have not shored up the left side of the infield like I thought they would, and since they are two guys I haven't actually watched a ton before this season, there is every possibility that they simply aren't the stellar fielders that their reputations had us think they were. The fact that Fenway's infield is horrible is certainly part of the issue. There's an old baseball cliche that defense doesn't slump but I disagree. I hope that it does, and that's what we've seen so far.
And they won 17-8 last night. You'd think after two championships in the last decade everyone could just relax a little bit. That's what I'm going to do.
I don't believe any of these things. But it seems like I'm in the minority, as one or all of the above thoughts are the prevailing view of the Olde Towne Team at the moment. Have they played badly? Absolutely. But the grand proclamations that the very composition of this team was a mistake seem really premature to me. We're not even 30 games into the season, and the Sox have played a huge chunk of the schedule so far without their starting left and center fielders. They are getting sub-Buddy Biancalana production from the DH spot. Ace starting pitchers that are notorious slow starters have--shocker--started slowly! I'm not ready to flip the panic switch yet about any or all of these issues. Every team has concerns, and a few bad losses early magnify them.
Take, for instance, a club that looks, in some ways, a little bit like this one on paper. The team in question had three of their five rotation members post ERAs over 4.00, including two at 4.87 and 5.42. The top two set up men were each overworked to the tune of 70+ games with ERAs north of 4.00. The defense was so bad that a mid-season trade was required to stabilize the fielding at two infield spots. That one probably gives it away, but in case it doesn't, I'm talking about...the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox.
I know that the two iterations of the club actually have very little in common. The point I'm making is that it is easy to cherry pick stats to make just about any argument you want to, and it's even easier less than 20% into a season. Beckett and Lester are going to be fine. The DH production will improve, whether it's Big Papi hitting more or sitting more. The defense is the most troubling thing to me, because Adrian Beltre and Marco Scutaro have not shored up the left side of the infield like I thought they would, and since they are two guys I haven't actually watched a ton before this season, there is every possibility that they simply aren't the stellar fielders that their reputations had us think they were. The fact that Fenway's infield is horrible is certainly part of the issue. There's an old baseball cliche that defense doesn't slump but I disagree. I hope that it does, and that's what we've seen so far.
And they won 17-8 last night. You'd think after two championships in the last decade everyone could just relax a little bit. That's what I'm going to do.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Summer of '10 - stuff I'm looking forward to
There's lots of great stuff on the way this summer. Here are a few things I'm psyched about.
May 7 - Iron Man 2. Okay, so May 7 isn't even really summer yet, but the release of this sequel is definitely the start of summer movie season and I'm beyond excited about this one. I loved Iron Man, and everything great about the first one looks like it has been ramped up for the sequel. I couldn't be more in. I plan on catching it in IMAX.
May 18 - Red Dead Redemption for PlayStation3. An open world, first person game set in the dying days of the Old West from the makers of Grand Theft Auto. I've checked out some videos of the game play and this one looks absolutely amazing. I don't have time to play video games as much as I used to--sad and shocking, I know--but I will find some time to give this one a good run. My hopes are high.
May 23 - The Lost finale. I have no idea how it is going to end, aside from knowing that they have to bridge the island and flash-sideways worlds together somehow. I do know that there is no way they can answer every last lingering question or tie up all the loose ends. It's impossible. But it will be really entertaining to see exactly what they do and how they do it.
June 18 - Toy Story 3. First theatrical movie experience for AJ? Could be. I think he might still be a little young, so I may hold off until '11 for Kung Fu Panda 2 or Cars 2. But this might work.
June 27 - Entourage season premiere on HBO. Last season was pretty sub par and it could be the beginning of the end, but I don't care. I'll watch this every week until it's done. If that makes me a little douchey by default, so be it.
Mid-July - Family trip to Cape Cod. This is definitely a highlight of the year. Last year we drove, and the trip up was surprisingly painless. The boy was phenomenal in the car, and also did well staying in hotels for the first time. But this time, just like with anything else we try to do now, the degree of difficulty will increase exponentially with two kids instead of one. Courtney is adorable, but she can also turn into a little demon at the drop of a hat. However, at the time we leave she'll be almost eight months old instead of the five-ish she is now, and those few months could make a huge difference. Or maybe I'm just deluding myself, and it will be two days of sheer hell. But I really hate air travel at this point, and anything else seems like a better option.
August - The Red Sox move into first place in the AL East. This one looks wildly optimistic right now, so what better time to make a bold prediction?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Random
The frequency (or lack thereof) with which I blog is pretty pathetic. So here are just some random thoughts so I can at least post something and try to get back into some sort of blogging schedule.
* I saw Kick-Ass and it was almost mind-blowingly entertaining. I'm trying to think of a movie I've seen over the last decade with a more rewarding third act and I'm coming up empty.
* The Red Sox are back to .500, thanks to stellar starting pitching the last two games: Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz combined to go 15 innings, allowing just eight hits and one run while striking out 15. I still feel good about the composition of this team, especially once we get healthy. The starting pitching is strong and deep, and the defense can't help but play better than they have. If we need another stick or a power bullpen arm, then we'll go get it at the deadline.
* The Celtics looked pretty strong in the first round demolition of the Miami Heat. Drawing the Cavaliers in the second round is a nightmare, but I at least think the Celts will make it interesting. The C's were actually stronger on the road than at home this year, so if they can steal game one in Cleveland then the series could be epic.
* I love The Office and I still watch it every week, but if next year is the final season of Steve Carell's deal then that is the perfect time to shut it down and say goodbye. The last two seasons just haven't been as funny as what came before it, and right now the show is consistently running fourth out of NBC's Thursday night comedy block for me. They had a great run, but I'd hate to see them hang around too long.
Monday, April 05, 2010
2010's first Joe Morgan blog
It's the second inning of the season opening Red Sox-Yankees tilt on ESPN2 and I have decided that a healthy way for me to deal with my ongoing Joe Morgan related rage issues is just to blog about it. So that's exactly what I'm going to do, with no plan at all.
* In the first, a fly ball was caught for an out in front of the 379 foot sign in left-center. Hall of Famer Joe's crack analysis? "That's the deepest part of the park (beat)...as far as left field goes."
* Top of the second, Jorge Posada clanks a cheap homer off the Pesky Pole in right. Joe describes the swing using the term "hands" roughly 37 times. Then he speculates what the distance might have been. My son A.J. is three and I'm pretty sure he knows that it's 302 down the line in right at Fenway. As for the pole itself, Morgan actually asks out loud if it is nicknamed for former Red Sox shortstop Johnny Pesky. First trip to Fenway Park, Joe? Just a reminder: this is a Hall of Fame player on the number one baseball broadcasting team for the largest sports provider in the known universe.
* New Yankee center fielder Curtis Granderson absolutely crushes a home run to dead center field, over the bullpen. "That's why they got him, for his defense and his speed on the base paths," observes The Village Idiot. I would almost think he's making fun of himself but there is a zero percent chance that he is that clever.
* Okay, I have a little bit of a hard time not being able to root for a big, beefy, 6'7" dude named C.C. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm absolutely looking forward to that wide load blowing out a knee or a shoulder sometime over the next season or two. I'm sorry, but it's true. I'd root against my own mother if she wore the pinstripes.
* Underrated side ESPN broadcast pet peeve: Jon Miller's obnoxious pronunciation of Latin names. Everyone else calls our new third baseman Adrian BELL-tray. Miller? Bel-TRAY. Annoying.
* Joe just explained that beginning one's Yankee career with a home run is preferable to going "0-for-10 and looking for that first hit." He is getting paid a lot of money to tell us insightful things like this. Really.
* Morgan made it to no outs in the bottom of the third before working in his first Cincinnati reference. Pay the under! Meanwhile, Jon Miller is making an actual case for the second Red Sox game of the year to be "Opening Day," for the people that don't like opening night. That game will be after this one, which, you know, opened the season. And it will take place roughly 40 hours from now. Opening Day...really?
* Mike Cameron just got doubled off first on a routine line drive that wasn't hit very hard. In a related story, I think I need a drink.
* How many hits do you think you'd get Googling "Joe Morgan Is An Idiot?" I'll give you a hint: more than 12 million.
* I don't want to say this game has gone completely to shit but the Yanks just swiped home on a first and third double-steal and Joe convinced himself that he somehow made a great call related to this. Just kill me. I'm on board for this "Opening Day on Tuesday" idea now. Let's do it.
* Quick question: how much interest am I really supposed to show when my wife starts asking me about kids' bedspreads that she's showing me online? I think it's a trap. I'm positive she just showed me the same one twice and asked which I like better.
* Sox fan buddy embedded in NYC checked in on Twitter to let me know how good I have it with Joe and Co., since he is stuck with the Yank-jazeera broadcast on YES. And yes, that's definitely worse.
* Joe just stated a Sabathia statistic that was blatantly incorrect (he was off by 300%), then referred to an Albert Pujols-Big Papi conversation about hitting, then disavowed any knowledge of any quote in there when the actual quote was placed on the screen with a graphic. Morgan practically pulled a muscle running backwards screaming, "Don't mind me, I'm just talking out my ass again!" Oh, and the Red Sox still have exactly one hit tonight.
* Marco Scutaro just made some new friends at the Fens with a two out, RBI single. I think Boston might love this guy this year. Worth mentioning: Yankee left fielder Brett Gardner completely airmailed the throw back in, and for the life of me I cannot understand why the Yanks didn't spend a few extra bucks to keep Johnny Damon, and I really hope it bites them in the ass this year. How bad does a throw from left have to be to make you think that Damon could have done a better job? Yikes.
* YOOOOOUK! Makes it 5-4 with a two run triple to right, thanks to a horrible angle taken by Nick Swisher.
* Sox tie it up, only to give it back with a weird kind of regular season bullpen move I have learned to live with from Terry Francona: he leaves Ramon Ramirez in to face Tex and A-Rod, who each get a solid rip. Enter Okajima. Why not do that to start the inning if you're going to pull the move with no outs?
* Apparently Chan Ho Park is still in the majors because he is now pitching for the Yankees. I'll go ahead and feel good about this. Chan Ho Park is their 7th inning righty set up guy? Honestly?
* Park just fanned Jacoby looking on a big, loopy curve. Ellsbury has done nothing good tonight, and I'll go ahead and say it: I don't like the uniform number switch either. He looks smaller.
* Dustin Pedroia knots it with a bomb over the Monster. This now feels like a game we should win.
* Wild pitch, wild pitch...8-7 lead. Watching the wheels come off like this for the Janks is quite enjoyable. "I still think he should have caught it," notes Morgan, referring to a ball that missed the plate by about ten feet. And now Joba's coming in. We've got plenty of time left for a brawl, folks.
* Clinging to a one run lead heading to the 8th and yes, I'm already preemptively sweating over Papelbon time.
* Okay, it took him nearly eight full innings but I think Joe Morgan actually said something relevant, raising the possibility that the Yankees middle relief might be a problem. Granted, this was after watching Chan Ho Park and Damaso Marte enter, pour gasoline on the infield, and set it alight, but still...a cogent point from Joe!
* Daniel Bard in the 8th is going to become really reliable and fun to watch.
* However, Steven Tyler in the 7th and Neil Diamond in the 8th is a little much for a Sunday night in April. Honestly. Meanwhile, my wife said that this comment makes me sound like my father. Which is ridiculous, because there is no way he stayed awake for either one tonight.
* In addition to the soft, gaping underbelly of the Bronx bullpen, it also warrants mentioning that anything hit up the middle between Jeter and Cano is a base hit. Any. Thing.
* Pap wraps it up in the 9th to finish off a lovely, come from behind Opening Night win. It wasn't pretty, and neither was the color commentary coming from the Big Red Idiot in the booth, but I'll take it.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Back to Oaklawn
Last night was the championship poker tourney at Oaklawn that I qualified for last month and I could not be happier with how I played. The key hand happened fairly early on, at my first table, when I made a nearly impossible laydown that kept me from going broke. I had pocket kings and made a standard pre-flop raise and got two callers--a short stack who was playing pretty conservatively, and an Ernest Hemingway lookalike who had already amassed a ton of chips and seemed to be playing a little strangely but getting very lucky. The flop was queen high rainbow, and I was out of position. I led out with an amount just big enough that I figured the shortie would raise all-in if he had hit anything, and that's exactly what he did. I knew I had him beat. Knew it. He either had something like pocket tens or jacks, or a pair of queens with a decent kicker. So he shoved, just like I hoped. Then Hemingway flat called. Hmm. I didn't see this coming, and I smelled a rat. I could not for the life of me figure out what he had here, but it just didn't feel right. I knew that an all-in over the top by me would get a call, and I really didn't want that. Add in the chance of the short stack also having a shot to draw out on me, and suddenly I didn't like my chances. So I mucked it.
The short stack had made queens, just like I thought, so I had him crushed. But Hemingway had flat called with Ace-Jack. He had a gutshot, a backdoor flush draw, and one over card, and he called a huge flop bet. Really?!? The turn was an ace, he rivered his flush, and had I stuck around I definitely would have been out of the tournament. It was a very unconventional fold, but it was early enough that I knew I could find a better spot to put my tournament life on the line. It turns out I would end up seeing Hemingway again at the final table.
I could never really get anything going. I was just clawing to keep my stack viable, stealing the blinds here and there. It was a really soft field, but the combination of my cards and my stack just didn't give me too many chances to get super creative. I got pocket aces in late position once, and after several limpers I popped it up to five times the big blind, just hoping to thin the field a little. From the looks I got you would have thought I stood up and took a dump on the table. Everyone folded. It was a very friendly kind of crowd, and everyone just wanted to see flops.
I think I was 9th out of nine in chips at the final table at one point, with Hemingway and another player that I knew from my qualifying round each holding almost ten times as many chips as me. Thus, I was ecstatic when the talk about making a deal happened when we were seven handed. The talk seemed legit enough that I folded a king-queen that I normally would have pushed with...which became painful when the hand would have made me quad kings. Finally, six handed, the deal was agreed on, throwing some cash to places 4-6 instead of just the top three. I kept playing solidly, chipping up with all-ins a couple of times before getting knocked out with pocket eights against a big stack's ace-jack, which made two pair. I was thrilled with how I played, honestly. I've gotten so much better the last few years and it felt great to see so many reads turn out right, and to recognize plays that I made that worked that I would not have had the skill or experience to pull off even a couple of years ago. It would have been nice if my eights held up, because then I would have been a real threat to get to the top three and probably heads up, but hey, that's poker. It was a fun tourney, I made some cash, and it felt good to play well.
The short stack had made queens, just like I thought, so I had him crushed. But Hemingway had flat called with Ace-Jack. He had a gutshot, a backdoor flush draw, and one over card, and he called a huge flop bet. Really?!? The turn was an ace, he rivered his flush, and had I stuck around I definitely would have been out of the tournament. It was a very unconventional fold, but it was early enough that I knew I could find a better spot to put my tournament life on the line. It turns out I would end up seeing Hemingway again at the final table.
I could never really get anything going. I was just clawing to keep my stack viable, stealing the blinds here and there. It was a really soft field, but the combination of my cards and my stack just didn't give me too many chances to get super creative. I got pocket aces in late position once, and after several limpers I popped it up to five times the big blind, just hoping to thin the field a little. From the looks I got you would have thought I stood up and took a dump on the table. Everyone folded. It was a very friendly kind of crowd, and everyone just wanted to see flops.
I think I was 9th out of nine in chips at the final table at one point, with Hemingway and another player that I knew from my qualifying round each holding almost ten times as many chips as me. Thus, I was ecstatic when the talk about making a deal happened when we were seven handed. The talk seemed legit enough that I folded a king-queen that I normally would have pushed with...which became painful when the hand would have made me quad kings. Finally, six handed, the deal was agreed on, throwing some cash to places 4-6 instead of just the top three. I kept playing solidly, chipping up with all-ins a couple of times before getting knocked out with pocket eights against a big stack's ace-jack, which made two pair. I was thrilled with how I played, honestly. I've gotten so much better the last few years and it felt great to see so many reads turn out right, and to recognize plays that I made that worked that I would not have had the skill or experience to pull off even a couple of years ago. It would have been nice if my eights held up, because then I would have been a real threat to get to the top three and probably heads up, but hey, that's poker. It was a fun tourney, I made some cash, and it felt good to play well.
Monday, February 01, 2010
The List - #119 completed
119. Visit the Oaklawn poker room.
This wasn't a hugely noteworthy list item, but I put it on there because they recently updated their poker room and it would be my first time trying out the PokerPro electronic tables. Oaklawn is a horse racing track with gaming, located an hour away in Hot Springs. Last week I left in the afternoon and went to check it out and I was pleasantly surprised with everything.
First off, I was trepidatious about the quality of the place to start with. This was based on nothing, really, just the overall idea that a casino located at a track in remote Arkansas had the potential to be pretty janky. It really wasn't. I didn't spend much time on the floor, but it was on par with non-Vegas casinos I've seen in Tunica and other somewhat small cities. The poker room had seven PokerPro tables and I was really impressed with how they work. They are completely automated and computerized, with every step of the game being run on the touch screen, from buy-in to cash out. You deposit funds at the casino's cashier and after that everything can be done at the table. I found the interface to be quite user friendly, which is good, since this is clearly the direction poker will head in the future. Purists will cling to cards and chips, but eventually it is going to be difficult to argue with the prospects of faster games, lower casino overhead due to no dealers, and lower player costs without having to tip.
I played $1-$2 No Limit for a while and then entered a qualifying tournament that Oaklawn was running--40 players, with the top four getting paid and the top three advancing to a freeroll in February that will include 30 players vying for $5,000 in payouts to the top three. The quality of the opponents was all over the place--some solid younger guys, some old timers, and some drunks that had clearly been betting on the ponies all day. I played my pretty standard game and managed to cash in third place, meaning I've got a seat in the big freeroll in a few weeks. I look forward to coming back with a shot to take down a nice chunk of change.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The List - #145 completed
145. Sing in public.
This was one from the Esquire list, and honestly, one I never really gave a thought to, for reasons that are pretty simple: I don't sing. But a perfect storm of circumstances took place on October 3, at The Foundry, in Boulder, Colorado. The ingredients were, in no particular order: about six hours of drinking at an open bar, the natural mood enhancement that comes from a dear friend's wedding, an accommodating, super-cool cover band backing me, and perhaps the one and only chance to release my inner James Hetfield in front of a friendly crowd.
So yes. At the end of the night, at the culmination of a wedding reception that was a party at a bar, I took the mic and rocked "Enter Sandman." And I loved every minute of it. And apparently, I didn't even suck. Now, there's no telling if my friends would actually tell me if I did. But I think I really pulled it off.
That was amazingly fun.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Podcast with Erik Rebich
Podcast #3 is a chat with the man getting married next week, Erik Rebich. Check it out for breaking news about the golf pairings, plans in case a last-minute escape happens before the ceremony, thoughts on the Broncos 2-0 start, and more.
Download or listen here now!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Patriots thoughts
I thought about writing this last night, but then it would have just been an angry rant about how the Patriots really should have won the game. But as much as it pains me to say this, the Jets deserved this one, and strangely enough, the blame goes to the Pats offense. Simply put, any time the 2009 Patriots hold their opponents to a total in the teens, we need to win. Period. Repeatedly settling for field goals just isn't going to cut it, and yesterday was a prime example of that. So what was the problem? There were two, really.
1. Play calling. When the Patriots are lighting the scoreboard up like a Christmas tree, they often do it with an exotic array of formations and play calling, and yet they went a hard 180 degrees the other way against the Jets. Former Boston Globe and new ESPN Boston Pats beat man Mike Reiss does an excellent job of breaking down specific play participation information after each game, and he noted that the Pats used the one back, one tight end, three receiver alignment on 76 of 77 offensive snaps yesterday. This is partially due to injuries...but it's still insane. When you know that an opponent is going to blitz as often as the Jets, you have to make their job harder by throwing different looks at them. People will be quick to say that missing Wes Welker was the biggest problem for the offense, but his rookie replacement, Julian Edelman, had eight catches for 98 yards, and everyone would have been satisfied with that same stat line from Welker, had he played. Granted, there were a few times where Edelman had to be told where to line up pre-snap, but overall he had a very solid game and looked every bit like the Welker 2.0 everyone hopes he will turn out to be.
The other thing that mystifies me about the game plan was the lack of opportunity given to Kevin Faulk. He is universally viewed as the Pats best receiving running back, and he also has a reputation as a great blitz pick-up blocker. He was only on the field for 24 offensive snaps. I don't get it. I don't remember a single screen pass thrown his way, which seems like an ideal weapon against a blitzing defense. Faulk caught one ball for three yards all day. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I also don't understand why Fred Taylor wasn't utilized more, as he looked powerful in eating up yards on the few carries he had.
2. Tom Brady. Yup, I said it, because right now he's part of the problem. I thought his second half performance against Buffalo was evidence that he had knocked the rust off, but it's clearly not the case. He just doesn't look like himself. He seems skittish in the pocket, he's more reluctant than ever to scramble or tuck it away and run, and his lack of accuracy on his mid range and deep throws is remarkably bad. Sure, a lot of that is due to the defense that he faced yesterday. And despite all that pressure, he wasn't sacked once, and he deserves credit for that. But there was no rhythm in the passing game at all, especially any time he targeted Joey Galloway, who looked pretty lost most of the time.
It was a discouraging defeat, especially given how well our defense played in the first half. If the Pats had converted just a single one of those first half field goals into a touchdown, it might have been an entirely different result. I think the team can adjust, and I do think the offense will find its stride eventually. There were some positives to take out of the loss, notably Edelman's breakout game and Fred Taylor racking up 5.8 yards per carry. But the offensive play calling was atrocious, and that needs to change for this team to step up and move forward. I also think Tom Brady will be fine, but the reality is that he hasn't played in a year and it takes quarterbacks time to get their mojo back. I have confidence that he will, and when he does, this offense will begin to look like its old self again.
1. Play calling. When the Patriots are lighting the scoreboard up like a Christmas tree, they often do it with an exotic array of formations and play calling, and yet they went a hard 180 degrees the other way against the Jets. Former Boston Globe and new ESPN Boston Pats beat man Mike Reiss does an excellent job of breaking down specific play participation information after each game, and he noted that the Pats used the one back, one tight end, three receiver alignment on 76 of 77 offensive snaps yesterday. This is partially due to injuries...but it's still insane. When you know that an opponent is going to blitz as often as the Jets, you have to make their job harder by throwing different looks at them. People will be quick to say that missing Wes Welker was the biggest problem for the offense, but his rookie replacement, Julian Edelman, had eight catches for 98 yards, and everyone would have been satisfied with that same stat line from Welker, had he played. Granted, there were a few times where Edelman had to be told where to line up pre-snap, but overall he had a very solid game and looked every bit like the Welker 2.0 everyone hopes he will turn out to be.
The other thing that mystifies me about the game plan was the lack of opportunity given to Kevin Faulk. He is universally viewed as the Pats best receiving running back, and he also has a reputation as a great blitz pick-up blocker. He was only on the field for 24 offensive snaps. I don't get it. I don't remember a single screen pass thrown his way, which seems like an ideal weapon against a blitzing defense. Faulk caught one ball for three yards all day. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I also don't understand why Fred Taylor wasn't utilized more, as he looked powerful in eating up yards on the few carries he had.
2. Tom Brady. Yup, I said it, because right now he's part of the problem. I thought his second half performance against Buffalo was evidence that he had knocked the rust off, but it's clearly not the case. He just doesn't look like himself. He seems skittish in the pocket, he's more reluctant than ever to scramble or tuck it away and run, and his lack of accuracy on his mid range and deep throws is remarkably bad. Sure, a lot of that is due to the defense that he faced yesterday. And despite all that pressure, he wasn't sacked once, and he deserves credit for that. But there was no rhythm in the passing game at all, especially any time he targeted Joey Galloway, who looked pretty lost most of the time.
It was a discouraging defeat, especially given how well our defense played in the first half. If the Pats had converted just a single one of those first half field goals into a touchdown, it might have been an entirely different result. I think the team can adjust, and I do think the offense will find its stride eventually. There were some positives to take out of the loss, notably Edelman's breakout game and Fred Taylor racking up 5.8 yards per carry. But the offensive play calling was atrocious, and that needs to change for this team to step up and move forward. I also think Tom Brady will be fine, but the reality is that he hasn't played in a year and it takes quarterbacks time to get their mojo back. I have confidence that he will, and when he does, this offense will begin to look like its old self again.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Podcast with Junior
I'm shocked how many people actually listened to the first podcast. Sincerely, I thought maybe half a dozen people would check it out, and it did much better than that, so I was more than happy to record another one. This time I talk to Chris "Junior" Rebich, who gives us more wedding lowdown (including the connection between Dumb and Dumber and what he will be wearing at the wedding), discussion of Shaw B's wick and fire levels, as well as his thoughts on the Rockies pursuit of a postseason berth and the troubling start to the CU football season.
Click here to listen or download it now!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Patriots preview
I am as keyed up for the upcoming Patriots season as any previous one I can remember. It doesn't mean my expectations are the highest, because we have had teams that were stronger top to bottom, with fewer question marks in important areas. So let's talk about those:
1. Brady's health. Obviously this is key, although as the team proved last year, it isn't the be all, end all of how the season will go, as evidenced by racking up an 11-5 record with a quarterback who had essentially never played before. It really sucks that the Pats missed the playoffs, because this was one of the greatest regular season achievements ever, and it got glossed over because we lost a tiebreaker. But for us to get back to the juggernaut of 2007, we need Tom's knee to hold up. All signs indicate that he is fine, and I relish the thought of watching him play with a chip on his shoulder and the idea, real or perceived, of having something to prove.
2. A big transition year for the defense. Core veterans Tedy Bruschi, Mike Vrabel, and Richard Seymour are all gone. Outside linebacker is the position that concerns me most, but it doesn't seem like Coach Belichick feels the same way, as the Pats didn't do much to strengthen the area on draft day or through trades, aside from picking up hybrid end Derrick Burgess from Oakland. Trading away Seymour makes a lot of sense, as the 2011 first round pick could turn into absolute gold, while we were almost undoubtedly going to let Big Sey walk at season's end anyway. Jarvis Green has done a great job for us before, and I expect him and the two rookie defensive tackles to fill that spot by committee. The bottom line is that we need to generate a pass rush, and I have faith that The Hoodie will find a way to get it done. I also look forward to Defensive Rookie of the Year Jerod Mayo improving, which is a great thought because he's already one of the best linebackers in the game.
3. Can the offense match 2007? Wes Welker made some comments early in camp alluding to the fact that he thought this year's offense might be better than 2007's, which seems absurd since that was the best offensive team in the history of the sport. But he might be onto something, as the team has more depth and talent at running back, tight end, and possibly even wide receiver. They also have added some young depth to the offensive line. It's hard to predict that the Pats can match the sum output of that undefeated regular season, but the pieces are definitely in place to make a run at it. And that makes me really, really happy. Bring back the cries of the Patriots running it up--a charge that I think is absolutely asinine in a professional football league. Bring back the late game "eff you" touchdown. Bring back Tom Brady and company shredding the record books en route to an amazing season. I'm ready for all of it. Let's kick it off already!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
