An early look at the fall TV season

Enough time has passed with the new fall TV schedule in place that I can get a feel for what's going on. All are, of course, just my humble opinions.

Best new show: CHUCK, NBC, Monday 8/7: After a few episodes I am happy to report that this show is essentially perfect. It's ridiculously fun, incredibly well-cast, intelligently written, and it is a joy to look at every week in HD. It's a perfect blend of action and comedy, and every week I look forward to it more than the week before. I've never seen either of the leads in anything else but Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski are two people to watch because they are both going to be really famous really soon. If you aren't watching this then I don't know what to do for you. It means that "Wienerlicious" is probably not a part of your lexicon yet and that's just your loss.

Best return of a show that could have been killed: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, NBC, Friday 9/8: I've already slurped NBC enough for bringing this show back, but they deserve it. However, I reserve the right to start ripping them if they feel the need to 90210ize FNL too much. In the season premiere alone we saw Tyra walking in slow motion sucking suggestively on a popsicle (come on) shortly before Landry murdered a guy in a fashion that would have made any of the Soprano crew proud. The show is still great, and aside from the glossy five minute introduction it has still maintained its distinctive documentary visual style, which I love. The writing and the acting are still top notch. My only possible qualms are with some of the story choices: Lyla as Jesus Freak? Jason Street thinks he'll be walking soon? Buddy Garrity the angry drunk? I have no idea where these arcs all might be headed, and that's part of the beauty of the show. Let's hope they get a complete second season so we can find out.

Show that is venturing into annoying "Lost" type territory far too quickly: HEROES, NBC, Monday 9/8. I'm not digging Samurai-era Hiro, despite the inspired casting of David Anders as Hiro's hero. I'm not loving Peter Petrelli needing a frigging box with his life in it to know what is going on. Alienated Claire with a high school friend/stalker...meh. I'll give this show time, but part of the appeal has always been that they give the viewers what they want to see in a timely fashion. They should stick to that M.O.

Worst big hit show: GREY'S ANATOMY, ABC, Thursday 9/8. Grey's is a conundrum for me. I've seen every single episode and yet I don't even really know if I am a fan of the show. I like some of the acting (hello, Katherine Heigl), the writing can occasionally be pretty clever, and my wife loves it so it's getting TiVoed in my house every week. However, the writing in the season premiere was an absolute disaster. It wasn't just bad, it was an affront to good story telling in any way, shape, or form. There were a lot of big story lines going on at the end of last season, so creator/writer/big shot Shonda Rhimes felt the need to have each and every main character verbalize in one form or another exactly what had been going on and/or what they had been up to since we last saw them. They might as well have had Basil Exposition from Austin Powers come on for a guest spot and do the job for them. It was utterly ridiculous.

Just as a comparison, FNL had at least as much information to communicate to their viewers, probably more, and they did it in the same one hour time period without having their characters practically break the fourth wall in the name of plot summary. Instead, throughout the hour we learned every thing new we needed to know without a single character lecturing about it. Hey, look, Landry's on the team now. And Coach Taylor is living out of town for his new college gig. And Julie is being a complete bitch. And Tyra and Landry are now an item. And Lyla's life has fallen apart to the point that she has blindly placed her faith in Jesus. They all just did these things. They didn't tell anyone that they did them. Maybe the Grey's team fears that their viewers aren't smart enough to keep up, but that's pretty insulting as well as downright painful to watch.

Worst new show/worst spinoff: PRIVATE PRACTICE, ABC, Wednesday 9/8. Speaking of teledisasters, I give you this putrid spin-off that apparently never should have spun. They took Addison Montgomery, who was an intelligent, strong willed, completely compelling and interesting character, moved her to southern California, and turned her into a "dance naked by an open window" bimbo. It's inexplicable. It's as if she's an entirely different character. After a few episodes, this show is "total eclipse" bad for me--I can't even watch it directly. I can barely be in the room with it while it's on, and I can only manage that if I divert most of my attention elsewhere. I know I'm not the target demo, etc. etc. But awful is awful, and Kate Walsh deserves better. I predict this show is canceled and she's back at Seattle Grace by 2008, doing everyone involved a huge favor.

Most enjoyable ridiculous show that almost nobody else is probably watching: CALIFORNICATION, Showtime, Monday 10:30/9:30. David Duchovny stars as a self-obsessed novelist (is there any other kind?) in L.A. in this insanely entertaining show with copious amounts of witty banter and gratuitous nudity. This one is probably a "love it or hate it," deal, and I think it's great. Duchovny is wildly charismatic playing the anti-hero trying to woo back the engaged-to-someone-else mother of his daughter, and the supporting cast is stellar from top to bottom, most notably with versatile "that guy" Evan Handler as Duchovny's lecherous, douchebag agent. The inaugural season run is almost over and I'll be sad to see it go.

Most enjoyable series ever with a serial killer as protagonist: DEXTER, Showtime, Sunday 10/9. I've been riveted by this show from the first episode and I was a little cautious about season two just because the first run was so brilliant. However, it's back and it's still phenomenal. The repercussions from the end of season one (which I won't spoil in case you haven't seen it, and if you haven't, rent it) are quite intriguing so far. This show is yet another example of the quality that cable can produce that the networks simply cannot match. This would never work on a network and I'm glad they don't even try. And everything from the Miami beaches to the sticky blood spatter just jumps off the screen in HD. It's a gorgeous show.

Shows I thought about watching but never did:

CANE. TiVoed it but couldn't commit. Feels like it will get canned.

REAPER. Still have the pilot on my office TiVo, but just because Kevin Smith directed it.

BIONIC WOMAN. It looks like it takes itself just a little too seriously. Plus all those on-screen NBC banner promos with the bionic woman turning and doing nothing as the wind swept back her hair made me want to bash my own skull in.

PUSHING DAISIES. It seems a little clever for its own good. Probably has a handful of diehard fans that will be distraught when it is canceled before New Year's.

K-VILLE. I watched the pilot and wanted to like it, if only because they actually shoot some scenes in New Orleans. But this one has no chance of sticking around so I won't get invested in it. Thanks for making me extra wary of every show you put on the air, Fox! I still wish I knew how "Drive" ended. Bastards.

BIG SHOTS. TiVoed the premiere and never watched it after I saw a promo in which one of the leads gloated "Men...we're the new women!" No straight man would ever, ever say this. I instantly deleted it.

DIRTY SEXY MONEY. TiVoed it and never watched it. I like some of the cast but...I don't know. I just got a bad feeling about it. Any show with "sexy" in the title is just trying a little too hard.

JOURNEYMAN. The pilot was decent but not enough to hook me.

MOONLIGHT. I considered it, but a show about vampires relegated to Friday night will probably be gone before Christmas, especially when I hear that CBS has an especially itchy trigger finger this year because they already have a complete season of "The Amazing Race" in the can and ready to go on at the first site of something faltering. And when I say itchy trigger finger, I mean that they might make a move after a couple of months, not a couple of weeks. Let's not go crazy. We're not talking about Fox, after all.

GOSSIP GIRL. Sometimes you just have to draw a line and say no.