I feel bad even acknowledging the absolutely predictable, "the sky is falling" column from Dan Shaughnessy in today's Boston Globe. But I'm really pissed about how the Red Sox are playing right now, so instead of ripping them, let's delve into this piece of shit columnist and his latest paint-by-numbers negative horseshit.
In Reverse Gear And Skidding Fast
CHB: "...Kevin Youkilis in left." He drops this bon mot in the first sentence, as if it is some sort of mortal baseball sin to throw Youk out there in LF. In his career, Youk has ventured into the outfield on 21 occasions...and handled 43 total chances without an error. Is he Willie Mays in the outfield? Of course not. But so far it has not presented even the slightest hint of a problem having Youk out there. CHB brings up the simple statement "Youkilis in left," again, hammering away at a point that just doesn't exist.
CHB: "And the Red Sox are sinking like a stone in the American League East." The Red Sox are 3.5 games back. If the season ended today, they would be in the playoffs. They have a 2.5 game edge over the next closest team behind them in the division. They have the 4th best record in all of baseball. In other words, this statement is vintage, baseless Shaughnessy Chicken Littling.
CHB: "Casey Kotchman had just made everyone forget Adam LaRoche (who?) with a two-run homer that gave the Sox a 3-1 lead in the top of the inning." This is just shitty writing. His snide insertion of "who?" takes any steam out of his shaky attempt at making a point to begin with. This sentence is complete nonsense, and yet it still manages to make Shaughnessy come off negatively, even while mentioning a positive occurrence for the Sox. Typical of his work. What an asshat.
CHB: "Then it was over, faster than you could say, “Fireball Fred Wenz.’’" This is a reference to a pitcher that played in all of nine total games for the Red Sox over 40 years ago. Worthless.
CHB: "Everybody loves Smoltz the way Everybody loves Raymond." Lazy reference to a sitcom that has been off the air for over four years.
CHB: "Suddenly the thought crosses the mind that the Red Sox might not even make the playoffs. It happened to the Patriots. It can happen to Boston’s baseball team, too." Entirely contrived point, and completely, 100% irrelevant. One thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other. It warrants mentioning that the Patriots lost their starting quarterback in the first quarter of the season and still tied for the best record in their division. However, Shaughnessy would never let facts get in the way of him taking an unwarranted dig at a local player or team. What a dick. Seriously.
CHB: "Lastly, there is the matter of one Big Papi (.222), who went 0 for 5; he is 0 for his last 16 and 1 for 19 since those first two games after the disclosure that he is on The List." Statistical cherry picking at its finest. Why the odd phrasing "since those first two games after the disclosure?" Because Big Papi homered in those first two games. Is CHB actually saying that the reveal of the list didn't start wearing on Ortiz until after those first two games? No, he just wants to spoon feed the readers more negative bullshit, which he can't do as strongly as he would like by using the actual statistics. This is beyond being a negative douche. It is basically literary fraud.
I hate Shaughnessy so much because his entire career is based on wallowing in negativity, and yet he can't even do it creatively. It's like a retarded monkey doing Mad Libs at this point. But instead of "noun, verb, and adjective," we get "statistical manipulation, spineless irrelevant dig, and worthless conjecture and hyperbole." He needs to go away. The world, and especially the world of a Boston sports fan, would be much better off without his stinking presence.
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