Last Comic Standing - August 9 recap

NBC’s pleasantly funny return of Last Comic Standing wrapped up with a two-hour extravaganza promising guest stars, surprises, the judges performing, and the crowning of a new champion. So grab a beverage and a snack, settle in, and let’s get to it with a running diary of the season finale:

0:00: I notice that the little picture on my guide listing is of former host Bill Bellamy. I’m not sure if this is the fault of NBC or DirecTV, but it’s really lame either way.

0:01: The obligatory, “This season on Last Comic Standing” montage begins. I guess I get the point of these, but when they happen during shows that I have watched faithfully, they always bore me. This is no exception, but at least it was a very brief one.

0:01: Kathy Griffin is the first person announced as one of the guests in this “star-studded” affair. Ugh. Meanwhile, all the finalists are on stage in matching black suits and ties. It looks like a really weird Reservoir Dogs spoof.

0:03: Craig Robinson admits that many of the guest stars are there to drag things out as long as possible. I liked him in this role all year. He’s a likeable guy doing a pretty thankless job and he keeps things moving. He’s also rocking a tux tonight. Solid.

0:04: First cut already! Cue the ominous thunder sound effect…and then Craig Seacrests us and holds off on making the call until after the first commercial break. Dammit. He totally got me.

0:08: And fifth place goes to…Myq Kaplan. Wow. He was one of my top two. If I filled out a pool or made a wager I’d be ripping it up right now.

0:09: NBC pops up their first annoying promo graphic for another show that takes up nearly half the screen. No, that’s not distracting at all. This segues into a performance by a prior winner that I’ve never seen because she took the crown after the show had gotten so bad that I couldn’t put myself through watching it anymore. She reaffirms my happiness with this decision quickly. Meanwhile, my wife is laughing at her while trying not to. Comedy: totally subjective. Except for people getting hit in the crotch, which is universally always funny.

0:14: That was a long five minutes.

0:18: The judges take to the stage, which is a nice time to remember how much they brought to the show this season. They may have been a little hesitant to get harsh at times, but unlike many judges on many other shows like this one, we know that they know what they are talking about, and they often proved it with specific and helpful comments.

0:19: A Craig Robinson hosting recap montage. Yeah…this show definitely did not need to be two hours long.

0:20: Perhaps I spoke too soon, as the intro leads us into a performance by Craig Robinson and his band, one with one of the best names in the history of music: The Nasty Delicious.

0:21: Gloria Gaynor arrives to sing “I Will Survive” with Craig and his band. I don’t think this is supposed to be funny, but it’s hard to tell.

0:23: Wow, they’re just going to play the whole song. Alrighty…

0:24: Craig gets up from the keyboard and joins Gloria to, well, “sing” is a little strong. But this was part of their big finish, apparently. Why? No idea. None of this makes sense to me right now.

0:29: Andy Kindler rocks the mic, letting us know that he will judge himself internally while he performs. He actually seems a little nervous at first, but he’s pretty good.

0:33: It took him a little bit to get going but he was really funny by the end of his brief set.

0:34: A brief history of Last Comic Standing, done in mock History Channel documentary style. Not awful as needless filler goes, but like pretty much everything so far, it was just kind of short and completely unnecessary. An actual look back at past seasons and comedians could have been interesting.

0:39: It’s time to “bid adieu” to another comic. Who knew Craig spoke French? It goes nicely with his tux. Anyway, your fourth place comic is Mike DeStefano, which feels about right. That’s a very respectable showing for him.

0:41: Cross promotion alert: Tom Papa, the host of NBC’s show The Marriage Ref, comes out for a set. My wife is laughing a little too much at some of the jokes about how married couples communicate.

0:43: Now we’re both chuckling at a bit about how Tom fought with his wife about the proper way to load a dishwasher. Lots of hilarious and relatable stuff in his set.

0:46: He’s genuinely killing right now.

0:47: The documentary look back was apparently just one of a series. Bringing it back a second time is not making it funnier.

0:53: “I love her. I love her…well,” says Craig in the way of an introduction for judge Natasha Legerro. She’s kind of doing some weird character that I don’t really get, although I like the shiny gold gloves that go up to her elbows.

0:56: Natasha says that she enjoys being a judge but she has no idea what is actually going on because the rules are confusing. So she is like Paula Abdul after all.

0:57: Literally as I was typing that, she went into a Paula Abdul joke. Apparently everyone saw that coming a mile away. My apologies.

1:00: There was just an ad for sea bass and shrimp appetizers for cats. I really wish this was the start of an SNL fake commercial. It is not.

1:01: Another documentary look back focuses on the hosts. I’m not going to try explaining how security camera footage of Craig saving the executive producer from a bear attack factored in. But it did.

1:04: I thought Craig and Gloria Gaynor performing together would be the only painful musical performance. I was wrong. Craig is now rapping in old man makeup and wardrobe.

1:07: We get a brief collection of the best non-finalist jokes. There were some solid ones in there, reminding me what a deep group we had this season.

1:09: Kurt Metzger gets the #1 spot in this brief countdown. I caught him in a “blink and you’ll miss it” cameo on Louis CK’s new show which, by the way, you should absolutely be watching if you like stand up comedy. It is phenomenal.

1:10: I try to hide under the couch cushions as a commercial for “Eat, Pray, Love” comes on because I don’t want my wife getting any ideas. I’ll go see that right after she watches “The Expendables” with me, which will be the day after never.

1:14: Greg Giraldo gets some stage time. It feels like he’s making up his set as he goes along. He’s much better on the Comedy Central roasts, which is probably like getting lay ups and dunks in an All-Star game due to the surrounding talent.

1:21: Third place time, and Roy Wood Jr. gets the bronze. “I just lost $400,” says Craig. Roy gives a shout-out to the hard-working road comics out there. Nice touch.

1:26: Kathy Griffin gets a big video piece before she comes on. To me, she is a perfect storm of freakish plastic surgery, grating personality, and mind-blowingly unfunny comedy. I just cannot stand her.

1:29: I’m trying to ignore the actual set by focusing on the really odd vein-wrinkle-seams at the corners of her eyes.

1:31: “He’s scary,” she says of Mel Gibson. “So are you,” screams every mirror in America.

1:35: She’s still talking. She also mentions how the cast of The Real Housewives of DC might not be the smartest people “in the state.” Note to Kathy Griffin: Washington, DC is not a state. Nice going.

1:39: Final Two time begins with a Felipe Esparza recap, followed by a mediocre performance. He has had his moments, but he certainly shouldn’t win the title.

1:44: “My judging now doesn’t mean anything,” says Andy accurately. So why are they doing it? Who knows.

1:46: Tommy Johnagin gets the recap treatment as well. I was really impressed with him the entire season. It’s amazing how much better he is than when he tried out a few seasons ago, and he would (should?) be a deserving winner.

1:50: The lady with the shiny formal gloves busts on Tommy for the purple shirt he wore earlier in the season. More relevantly, Greg commends him on his joke writing, which has been stellar all season. “Unlike my act, you got stronger,” adds Andy.

1:55: “The truth is finally revealed about how the votes are tabulated,” says Craig gravely. Cut to: Doug Benson and Fred Willard with abacuses and a pile of crumpled scraps of paper.

1:57: “Without further stalling or milking, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” says Craig, before adding a little more stalling and milking by requesting the dramatic lights one last time. He then gives the reveal a nice, funny preamble, making it as humorously dramatic as possible

1:58: And the Last Comic Standing is…Felipe Esparza. Sigh. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, and as a comic type he fits right in with past winners of this show. And ultimately, I guess that’s the problem for me. Oh well. Good for him. Meanwhile, this is clearly not the last we’ve heard from Tommy Johnagin, or several other talented comics featured on this enjoyable season. The overall talent level renewed my faith in the show, which is something I thought I’d never say again. See you next year everyone.